37: The Darkness - Christmas Time (Dont Let the Bells End)

(Transcripts are auto-generated expect mistakes) No, they don't get happy Christmas we give them the darkness

Hello and welcome to we can't rewind we've gone too far where three increasingly burnt out Millennials talk about strange music videos

Well, it's that time of year again to your listeners the time of year. We actually have time off to record a podcast

I mean, it's Christmas. Yeah, happy Christmas

And today we have a cracker of a gift under the tree the in your in the laden Christmas time better known by its subtitle

Don't let the bells end by the darkness and yeah, we'll get to our various opinions on the song

The crop song you could write this song off as a standard Christmas cash grab and in a sense it is but in this case

It's a bit more of a polished effort which stays true to the darknesses wink wink nudge nudge sense of humor

The video stars a band itself a children's choir and the lead singer Justin Hawkins then girlfriend and band manager

Sue Whitehouse it was released in the 15th of December

2003 and came a runner-up for Christmas number one in the UK

Lead singers caused the saying we managed to get Berlin into a Christmas song without it getting banned

I'm gonna say yes, we start off with our opinions on the song

Okay, well I like it no, I'm the only negative

so I

Well was still I'm probably always will be a very big fan of the darkness

They find me at that sort of time where I was like, oh I want to be like them

I never made it to look or dress like them. But you know, I when I when I first heard the darkness

I was like I want to get a guitar and I want to play that music and I don't know why they were the ones

That made me go. Yeah, they're cool. But that was it. Yeah. Yeah, I adored the darkness back when I first discovered them

I think I was what 13 the time

Very busy days of limewire very early days of iTunes. You could download them and store them on your your iPod. I

Want I'm I bought every single every single single EP they had released on every possible format

So I also discovered eBay around this time and I was like wow you can buy anything

So I bought absolutely every bit of darkness memorabilia I could find and then when this song came out

It was my alarm when I was waking up every Christmas

I think for Christmas 2003 when it was like four or five and I think up to six and seven that was what I had

On my phone or whatever. I use the wake up to

Know it's Christmas wake up, but it was only the first 15 seconds

I was listening to them on the drive in this morning and

Some of their some of their new stuff, which I haven't actually heard before

Gotta listen to it because it sounds pretty good. They're rubbish at the end of the day, but I can't help but love them

It's fair enough. Absolutely fair enough. I don't think anyone here would be like, but yeah this song this song this song's great

I really like this song. It is a Christmas song on my Christmas rotation

It is in there because it always makes it in anyway, because it says Christmas in the title

But yeah, I I read I read the darkness and read this song. Okay now on to the negative points pass it over to you

- well, no, I'm actually gonna defend it a slightly generic Christmas song

But I think I'm so jaded by we're talking about a sort of daily like the current crop of like Christmas number ones

Which are all these novelty? Yeah, like I love sausage rolls and stuff like that

It was just refreshing to listen to let a Christmas song and be like, all right

That's just just a decent wee song. It's not gonna fucking change the world

But it's just it's just a good a good song and gonna appreciate how it's in the tradition of like a which got like

Carry on camping. It's an innuendo, but it's such a mild innuendo that no one cares

It was a fun Christmas song though, right compared to what actually beat it that year, which was mad world

Yeah, the mad world cover. Yeah, which is

Which is a bit miserable

It is, it's just a weird thing that people went like yeah, I'm gonna buy that instead of this. So, okay on to the negative

Yeah, good. Do your worst. Go on. So there is two types of Christmas songs

insincere crash grabs

Songs that exist for absolutely no reason beyond just creating a Christmas song and then there's sincere Christmas songs

It doesn't mean to the sincere ones are good, but they're sincere and you can feel that and those are the ones you

Usually remember for better or worse

So, you know you have the insincere ones like fucking seal or with the Muppets

You have the Muppets, but that a good song not not does not make then you have the actual like sincere songs

Like you might have you might hate

Mariah Carey as much as you want

But when she sings that song and I I truly hundred percent believe that she Mariah Carey

Wants me for Christmas

Being rolled the road out every time he sings

Regardless of what he thinks about him you think about him

I truly believe that he really cares about that one Christmas song

He sings every single year and all of them

Because he's just been frozen the whole of the rest of the year. He really wants to have his own

Does the songs you remember and then you have this song and it's I don't think that it's not on purpose

But it's a boring song. It's

Insincere this I listen to the song and I'm like this doesn't sound like anything I would expect from the darkness

I would expect something much more out there much more fun. And this song is not fun. This song is absolutely not funny

It's boring as fuck. Come on guys, like five in your endos and putting Bella and and being like, whoa

We made a joke does not make a fun song

I'm very happy for near that you remember it for and that was your gateway drug to good music

I

They're they're very competent musicians I genuinely like the first album and they it's a sincere album

you can say that it's not particularly good and it's very

Derivative of 90 of like 70s and 80s hero and they're basically stealing the whole aesthetic of Queen

Very happy to agree on that

But they were making something and they were trying to they were making a point of that album

I listened to the to just in Hawkins sing and I'm like he doesn't care about any of this not even because of

Cash grabs or not. He just doesn't it doesn't sound like he cares and at the end of the day

Why would I care if he doesn't can I just I I I do respect your your argument?

No, no, I just but I think the whole Christmas song

Genre is is a complete or cash grab anyway

I had a quick scan of Wikipedia just to see what has been there and I in

1993 was a was it was a bad year. That was the bad time like it's mr. Blobby was number one

Like that was the other option for today. We may come back to that nature and I tell you what, right?

I didn't actually realize until I read the show notes that

This song had those parody words on it the Indian news. I had no idea

Honest to God honest to God. This is the first time I've heard that oh, oh shit, right. I didn't know that

There's me thinking. Oh my favorite bad start a Christmas song. There's me listening to it. La la la

I didn't did not pick up in the end you in you endos seriously

I would probably blame the video for that as well if the video was

Better at showing that or better being wink wink nudge don't nudge

Maybe people would have paid more attention to this the gags are Oh

Justine Hawkins pulling up his pants and they're making out with his girlfriend in the car

There's no like reflection of that one quick version of this in this in the video and I think about it

I don't really thought but that's the thing like you it would have been much funnier had they made like an actual like proper

super cheesy very very

Kids friendly or like family friendly video with that

Those songs it would have been funny because it would have been like just like the difference or if you go if you went completely

budget-crazy

Making the point that it's a it's a comedy song

But they didn't go they just kind of went in the middle and they look like they just meddling million meddling

that words meddling

Could have been the kind of situation where like so like kids film for they the sneak in jokes for the parents

They could have could have went with that with the music video, but it's just it's kind of just

I'm sorry for ruining it for both of you guys. It's

Like Christmas songs are so kind of generic anyway

I still think I still put this above like CeeLo green and stuff like that where you

With CeeLo green you can tell that you can't wait to get the fuck out of there

Like at least at least it seems like they had fun making it even if they didn't put that much effort into it, you know

But the video itself should be top of the video. What actually happens in the video. See

Oh, yeah, we've got that that controversial segment over

Well, I mean the video is rubbish it is

It's badly made. It doesn't hold up. Nothing happens a group of

Unaccompanied children get invited into a house by but five was four man. Just a bit. It's a bit odd

They're clearly on a house in the middle of nowhere and the kids are just there

I mean, it doesn't make any sense. So it is a rubbish video, but yes full of surprises

Do you wanna do you want to talk about some of the surprises that come up?

Well, first of all, there's any endos, right?

Like I said, I had no idea like did did you guys when you first heard this on what did you know? That was a thing?

Yes

We're talking about like

No, I did not pay attention to the I was 13

Involves too much math. No one listened to this local lyrics. So just ignore me from it. It's you discuss

So have you been consistently listening to it at Christmas since since it came out?

Would you let you know those playlists that Spotify mix, you know?

I usually stick the Christmas one on and it it is in there somewhere and I am suddenly reminded that it does exist

So I wouldn't go listening to it out of season

Because if you know point but I think what I do like about a Christmas song and this one in

Particular is that for some reason I find it really hard to picture

That period of time but when I hear that song it does take me back to being 13 and being excited by Christmas and probably getting

Something silly that I've been wanting all year

So I do kind of owe it that sort of thanks and I do get that with not many songs

So it's yeah, this one does sort of just sort of bring that back

But sorry back to the video the bit videos rubbish. I mean

It's like an artist retreat so what's what do you think that do you think they're going off to like, you know, make new material

Do hardcore drugs either?

They're trying to go for like

The darkness are a family and they wrote they all live together and they're happy little darkness family

Or the darkness the band has just fucked off to a cabin for Christmas

Maybe he's doing it to get over his girlfriend who is as has as unclear

Cuz yeah, like through the video you see this is one thing

I do really like about the video that just made me laugh myself was them was like the 80s style where you just see like

The former love interest looking windswept and interesting just appearing in the fireplace or in a Christmas bauble

So I reckon Justin's having some relationship issues and they're like, oh we'll go off and have a good time

And and some cabin somewhere

That's the theory for the story in my head any other I presume they were trying to do as you said

Like oh, we are a family because two of them are but they could have just let me yeah

Just you call Kingston. Yeah, it's probably down. Yeah, I did not know that

He's a rhythm guitar. Yeah, they could have been a bit clear about this

I said

It probably just comes back to just how lazy the video is

The Blinchie just went put the band in a cabin make it snow outside some ropey VFX. But yeah, it's just like

There's just so many missed opportunities to actually make the fucking video fun without spending more money

Just make it fun. I think that's why it's a rubbish video because nothing really happens, right? Yeah happens

What was that? I believe you believe and we all believe in the think I'd love video. I'm so now and

They are on a spaceship big octopus

It that's yeah, that's it was pretty probably cost a bit more

But I don't think it was like particularly expensive you to make it was a fun video

Yeah, I think they really had a budget for that. This one. This one looks like it was self-funded and

They didn't want to put too much time

So when you think of the I believe in think I'd love video there's a whole scene where the lead singer sings into salami

Like this is like small like very very small things that they just didn't notice

Someone please pull out the video and have a quick look but in my head was

I'm a much either. So I'm a please don't ruin it for me because that's great. I

Hope I hope there is a slamming. There isn't a slamming. I'll be concerned

I'm just hungry. I'll have breakfast yet. What do you think of?

The presence like the double neck guitar no, it's a reasonable again

Just to put you in just to have fun with that. Hmm the rubbish the rubbish robot the rubbish robot

It is a bit it is a bit winek

I do have a question for you if you were to create presents for

2003 the darkness to put under the tree for themselves. What is it? What presents would it be?

Does it have to be period correct? No, I would take a sports almanac. I

Got that reference. Oh, thanks. Thanks. Natalie. What what what what does Nelly want me?

He wants more blasters, what would you give the darkness? Oh, I

Was just thinking about it's like the salami what could have been the did actually someone's check the video whether it was actually salami

Was it just me project salami confirmed? Yes. Yeah

I probably would have made some dumb reference to

The I believe anything called love video because they have so many small like it could have been like a plush toy

Octopus or something like that. That's it could have been a whole thing

Yeah, if it was like they were abducted that would be even better right it would make sense

But yeah, nope, none of that. I'm so you know that yeah look out the one video the day, but he knows I I want to

Touch I put this note down. Well, I clearly no one else bought the limited edition vinyl single. Am I right which was

Incredibly limited because it was shipped. It was it was a it was a shipped file

I'm gonna I'm gonna put this in the chat and don't don't Google it. Don't Google it

Let me see your live reaction to this. We're about to see a picture of the limited edition darkness

Vinyl veil Wow

Whose child drew this? Yeah, the arts a bit rubbish, but but yeah, look at that

It is not it's it's not like a vinyl ship

It's it's it's sort of like a die-cut version of a sticker. It's got Justin on a

Bollocks

Yes, which makes sense and that looks like a big roll of salami next to him

I'm not really sure what is that the actual vinyl? So you yeah, you put that on the on the deck

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you can kind of see the circle bet, you know inside so it's obviously just yeah, just that internal

Internal bit. But yeah, yeah, that was that was a prized possession of mine

I drove is that artwork is like the artwork Scott then your nose all over it. So it's like but the video doesn't yeah

The energy on that vinyl is what they should have translated to the actual video

The bit where they're all playing guitars in the snow and the fashion choices involved there

That is what they should have done in the rest of the video right now

That look like that's clearly a piss-take like because it's covered in snow

But yeah, the the energy for that should have translated to the actual high speed

Yeah, cuz look at them. They're dressed like what do you call them? Not Eskimos, but you know, like big snow creatures

Oh, yeah, it's also

The car it was it was a for it's a Ferrari. I don't know which type it is

But it's a why it's it's not very practical for snow. We're really small. Yeah, it's pretty quite tight there

But you have all that coat is a good coach. Yeah, the girlfriend's a

Sushi she feels a bit awkward at that point. I mean the whole video she looks really awkward

Would you not feel awkward if you and I think at that point she was like, yeah dumping you next week getting Christmas

Oh, yeah, get the presents and then I'm out of here. I just felt a bit awkward

I can't remember if I mentioned but that's a that was just talking that you'll then go for it. You mentioned it

She probably isn't an actor

She's like a couple even dragged into this fucking video I just want to go home and

The spaceship flies past Merry Christmas

Abbot

I

Do

Final points. Well, you know the video is

It's rubbish. The song is is I like it. It'll probably always still

Play somewhat every Christmas for me. I still can't believe that I never realized the innuendos, but here we are

I guess I'm a very innocent person being a pure innocence

Totally missed the point. You're out as and such in the video in the videos. It's it's a bit crap

I don't hate it, but I don't I don't love it if I had to choose a favorite points

I guess the bits where

With the choir the kids of the choir sort of show up and then the the other members of the band are just

Standing behind them with like no facial expression and it looks really awkward

I'm not sure what they're doing

It's like they've just captured these kids and they've they've they're giving in

Giving them to to Justin to I don't know do what he wants to with and yeah

And it just looks a bit weird, but I made me laugh because they're just happy as Larry swaying away probably

Not gonna see the end of the night. You never see the kids again. No, you don't sacrificing the kids

I think that's our question turned into to the alien food to the alien. Yes, probably. Yeah

Yeah film points song is good video is dogshit favorite part flashbacks to the ex-girlfriend slash current girlfriend

We don't know her face in the fire just made me laugh because it reminded me of him

What was that video we did where the guy's standing on top of a mountain and he's singing and it's like cuts cuts away

Oh my god, Michael Ball and it reminded me of that and it made me laugh and the worst part is right at the end

of the video

He winks at the camera at one point

I wonder one of the band members wink it winks at the camera and they didn't put a ting sound effect in and that's just

Offensive it was right there guys. It was right fucking there would have took him two seconds. No ting what's part the sound

Person has spoken. No. Yeah, I very specifically didn't actually put down anything for this because I

I'm sorry. I'm sorry guys. I don't have absolutely any

Nostalgia connected to it. Um, I think we should just been it in the same place that we have

CeeLo green and John Travolta and all that. Sorry. I don't think it's good. I don't think it's it. No. No, it's just

Like we're learning over the years that Christmas good Christmas videos are hard to find man

Fuck know if you have any suggestions, please email us

We're struggling at this point. This video we struggle and we're in pain. Yeah, we may have to do mr.

Blobby nature guys

Yeah shatter my dreams, all right, well, thank you for listening everyone

We hope this episode was everything you hoped and wished for under your Christmas tree

It was certainly not under Nelly's went straight in the bin

Me and you enjoyed a fairy very much. Take a look at the show notes for today's links for today's video links to Instagram, etc

Also email. So yes as Dave mentioned, please email us recommendations for next Christmas

Yeah, you can get us on gone too far cast at gmail.com. We'd love to hear your thoughts

Recommendations and for videos if you enjoy the podcast leave us review an apple podcast or a podcast player of your choice

I think that's it for this week. So I guess goodbye from me. Goodbye for me

that

To you

Happy Christmas dear Nelly and dear

Honey, happy Christmas to all our listeners. No, they don't get happy Christmas. We give them the darkness in both ways

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