(Transcripts are auto-generated expect mistakes) No, they don't get happy Christmas we give them the darkness
Hello and welcome to we can't rewind we've gone too far where three increasingly burnt out Millennials talk about strange music videos
Well, it's that time of year again to your listeners the time of year. We actually have time off to record a podcast
I mean, it's Christmas. Yeah, happy Christmas
And today we have a cracker of a gift under the tree the in your in the laden Christmas time better known by its subtitle
Don't let the bells end by the darkness and yeah, we'll get to our various opinions on the song
The crop song you could write this song off as a standard Christmas cash grab and in a sense it is but in this case
It's a bit more of a polished effort which stays true to the darknesses wink wink nudge nudge sense of humor
The video stars a band itself a children's choir and the lead singer Justin Hawkins then girlfriend and band manager
Sue Whitehouse it was released in the 15th of December
2003 and came a runner-up for Christmas number one in the UK
Lead singers caused the saying we managed to get Berlin into a Christmas song without it getting banned
I'm gonna say yes, we start off with our opinions on the song
Okay, well I like it no, I'm the only negative
so I
Well was still I'm probably always will be a very big fan of the darkness
They find me at that sort of time where I was like, oh I want to be like them
I never made it to look or dress like them. But you know, I when I when I first heard the darkness
I was like I want to get a guitar and I want to play that music and I don't know why they were the ones
That made me go. Yeah, they're cool. But that was it. Yeah. Yeah, I adored the darkness back when I first discovered them
I think I was what 13 the time
Very busy days of limewire very early days of iTunes. You could download them and store them on your your iPod. I
Want I'm I bought every single every single single EP they had released on every possible format
So I also discovered eBay around this time and I was like wow you can buy anything
So I bought absolutely every bit of darkness memorabilia I could find and then when this song came out
It was my alarm when I was waking up every Christmas
I think for Christmas 2003 when it was like four or five and I think up to six and seven that was what I had
On my phone or whatever. I use the wake up to
Know it's Christmas wake up, but it was only the first 15 seconds
I was listening to them on the drive in this morning and
Some of their some of their new stuff, which I haven't actually heard before
Gotta listen to it because it sounds pretty good. They're rubbish at the end of the day, but I can't help but love them
It's fair enough. Absolutely fair enough. I don't think anyone here would be like, but yeah this song this song this song's great
I really like this song. It is a Christmas song on my Christmas rotation
It is in there because it always makes it in anyway, because it says Christmas in the title
But yeah, I I read I read the darkness and read this song. Okay now on to the negative points pass it over to you
- well, no, I'm actually gonna defend it a slightly generic Christmas song
But I think I'm so jaded by we're talking about a sort of daily like the current crop of like Christmas number ones
Which are all these novelty? Yeah, like I love sausage rolls and stuff like that
It was just refreshing to listen to let a Christmas song and be like, all right
That's just just a decent wee song. It's not gonna fucking change the world
But it's just it's just a good a good song and gonna appreciate how it's in the tradition of like a which got like
Carry on camping. It's an innuendo, but it's such a mild innuendo that no one cares
It was a fun Christmas song though, right compared to what actually beat it that year, which was mad world
Yeah, the mad world cover. Yeah, which is
Which is a bit miserable
It is, it's just a weird thing that people went like yeah, I'm gonna buy that instead of this. So, okay on to the negative
Yeah, good. Do your worst. Go on. So there is two types of Christmas songs
insincere crash grabs
Songs that exist for absolutely no reason beyond just creating a Christmas song and then there's sincere Christmas songs
It doesn't mean to the sincere ones are good, but they're sincere and you can feel that and those are the ones you
Usually remember for better or worse
So, you know you have the insincere ones like fucking seal or with the Muppets
You have the Muppets, but that a good song not not does not make then you have the actual like sincere songs
Like you might have you might hate
Mariah Carey as much as you want
But when she sings that song and I I truly hundred percent believe that she Mariah Carey
Wants me for Christmas
Being rolled the road out every time he sings
Regardless of what he thinks about him you think about him
I truly believe that he really cares about that one Christmas song
He sings every single year and all of them
Because he's just been frozen the whole of the rest of the year. He really wants to have his own
Does the songs you remember and then you have this song and it's I don't think that it's not on purpose
But it's a boring song. It's
Insincere this I listen to the song and I'm like this doesn't sound like anything I would expect from the darkness
I would expect something much more out there much more fun. And this song is not fun. This song is absolutely not funny
It's boring as fuck. Come on guys, like five in your endos and putting Bella and and being like, whoa
We made a joke does not make a fun song
I'm very happy for near that you remember it for and that was your gateway drug to good music
I
They're they're very competent musicians I genuinely like the first album and they it's a sincere album
you can say that it's not particularly good and it's very
Derivative of 90 of like 70s and 80s hero and they're basically stealing the whole aesthetic of Queen
Very happy to agree on that
But they were making something and they were trying to they were making a point of that album
I listened to the to just in Hawkins sing and I'm like he doesn't care about any of this not even because of
Cash grabs or not. He just doesn't it doesn't sound like he cares and at the end of the day
Why would I care if he doesn't can I just I I I do respect your your argument?
No, no, I just but I think the whole Christmas song
Genre is is a complete or cash grab anyway
I had a quick scan of Wikipedia just to see what has been there and I in
1993 was a was it was a bad year. That was the bad time like it's mr. Blobby was number one
Like that was the other option for today. We may come back to that nature and I tell you what, right?
I didn't actually realize until I read the show notes that
This song had those parody words on it the Indian news. I had no idea
Honest to God honest to God. This is the first time I've heard that oh, oh shit, right. I didn't know that
There's me thinking. Oh my favorite bad start a Christmas song. There's me listening to it. La la la
I didn't did not pick up in the end you in you endos seriously
I would probably blame the video for that as well if the video was
Better at showing that or better being wink wink nudge don't nudge
Maybe people would have paid more attention to this the gags are Oh
Justine Hawkins pulling up his pants and they're making out with his girlfriend in the car
There's no like reflection of that one quick version of this in this in the video and I think about it
I don't really thought but that's the thing like you it would have been much funnier had they made like an actual like proper
super cheesy very very
Kids friendly or like family friendly video with that
Those songs it would have been funny because it would have been like just like the difference or if you go if you went completely
budget-crazy
Making the point that it's a it's a comedy song
But they didn't go they just kind of went in the middle and they look like they just meddling million meddling
that words meddling
Could have been the kind of situation where like so like kids film for they the sneak in jokes for the parents
They could have could have went with that with the music video, but it's just it's kind of just
I'm sorry for ruining it for both of you guys. It's
Like Christmas songs are so kind of generic anyway
I still think I still put this above like CeeLo green and stuff like that where you
With CeeLo green you can tell that you can't wait to get the fuck out of there
Like at least at least it seems like they had fun making it even if they didn't put that much effort into it, you know
But the video itself should be top of the video. What actually happens in the video. See
Oh, yeah, we've got that that controversial segment over
Well, I mean the video is rubbish it is
It's badly made. It doesn't hold up. Nothing happens a group of
Unaccompanied children get invited into a house by but five was four man. Just a bit. It's a bit odd
They're clearly on a house in the middle of nowhere and the kids are just there
I mean, it doesn't make any sense. So it is a rubbish video, but yes full of surprises
Do you wanna do you want to talk about some of the surprises that come up?
Well, first of all, there's any endos, right?
Like I said, I had no idea like did did you guys when you first heard this on what did you know? That was a thing?
Yes
We're talking about like
No, I did not pay attention to the I was 13
Involves too much math. No one listened to this local lyrics. So just ignore me from it. It's you discuss
So have you been consistently listening to it at Christmas since since it came out?
Would you let you know those playlists that Spotify mix, you know?
I usually stick the Christmas one on and it it is in there somewhere and I am suddenly reminded that it does exist
So I wouldn't go listening to it out of season
Because if you know point but I think what I do like about a Christmas song and this one in
Particular is that for some reason I find it really hard to picture
That period of time but when I hear that song it does take me back to being 13 and being excited by Christmas and probably getting
Something silly that I've been wanting all year
So I do kind of owe it that sort of thanks and I do get that with not many songs
So it's yeah, this one does sort of just sort of bring that back
But sorry back to the video the bit videos rubbish. I mean
It's like an artist retreat so what's what do you think that do you think they're going off to like, you know, make new material
Do hardcore drugs either?
They're trying to go for like
The darkness are a family and they wrote they all live together and they're happy little darkness family
Or the darkness the band has just fucked off to a cabin for Christmas
Maybe he's doing it to get over his girlfriend who is as has as unclear
Cuz yeah, like through the video you see this is one thing
I do really like about the video that just made me laugh myself was them was like the 80s style where you just see like
The former love interest looking windswept and interesting just appearing in the fireplace or in a Christmas bauble
So I reckon Justin's having some relationship issues and they're like, oh we'll go off and have a good time
And and some cabin somewhere
That's the theory for the story in my head any other I presume they were trying to do as you said
Like oh, we are a family because two of them are but they could have just let me yeah
Just you call Kingston. Yeah, it's probably down. Yeah, I did not know that
He's a rhythm guitar. Yeah, they could have been a bit clear about this
I said
It probably just comes back to just how lazy the video is
The Blinchie just went put the band in a cabin make it snow outside some ropey VFX. But yeah, it's just like
There's just so many missed opportunities to actually make the fucking video fun without spending more money
Just make it fun. I think that's why it's a rubbish video because nothing really happens, right? Yeah happens
What was that? I believe you believe and we all believe in the think I'd love video. I'm so now and
They are on a spaceship big octopus
It that's yeah, that's it was pretty probably cost a bit more
But I don't think it was like particularly expensive you to make it was a fun video
Yeah, I think they really had a budget for that. This one. This one looks like it was self-funded and
They didn't want to put too much time
So when you think of the I believe in think I'd love video there's a whole scene where the lead singer sings into salami
Like this is like small like very very small things that they just didn't notice
Someone please pull out the video and have a quick look but in my head was
I'm a much either. So I'm a please don't ruin it for me because that's great. I
Hope I hope there is a slamming. There isn't a slamming. I'll be concerned
I'm just hungry. I'll have breakfast yet. What do you think of?
The presence like the double neck guitar no, it's a reasonable again
Just to put you in just to have fun with that. Hmm the rubbish the rubbish robot the rubbish robot
It is a bit it is a bit winek
I do have a question for you if you were to create presents for
2003 the darkness to put under the tree for themselves. What is it? What presents would it be?
Does it have to be period correct? No, I would take a sports almanac. I
Got that reference. Oh, thanks. Thanks. Natalie. What what what what does Nelly want me?
He wants more blasters, what would you give the darkness? Oh, I
Was just thinking about it's like the salami what could have been the did actually someone's check the video whether it was actually salami
Was it just me project salami confirmed? Yes. Yeah
I probably would have made some dumb reference to
The I believe anything called love video because they have so many small like it could have been like a plush toy
Octopus or something like that. That's it could have been a whole thing
Yeah, if it was like they were abducted that would be even better right it would make sense
But yeah, nope, none of that. I'm so you know that yeah look out the one video the day, but he knows I I want to
Touch I put this note down. Well, I clearly no one else bought the limited edition vinyl single. Am I right which was
Incredibly limited because it was shipped. It was it was a it was a shipped file
I'm gonna I'm gonna put this in the chat and don't don't Google it. Don't Google it
Let me see your live reaction to this. We're about to see a picture of the limited edition darkness
Vinyl veil Wow
Whose child drew this? Yeah, the arts a bit rubbish, but but yeah, look at that
It is not it's it's not like a vinyl ship
It's it's it's sort of like a die-cut version of a sticker. It's got Justin on a
Bollocks
Yes, which makes sense and that looks like a big roll of salami next to him
I'm not really sure what is that the actual vinyl? So you yeah, you put that on the on the deck
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you can kind of see the circle bet, you know inside so it's obviously just yeah, just that internal
Internal bit. But yeah, yeah, that was that was a prized possession of mine
I drove is that artwork is like the artwork Scott then your nose all over it. So it's like but the video doesn't yeah
The energy on that vinyl is what they should have translated to the actual video
The bit where they're all playing guitars in the snow and the fashion choices involved there
That is what they should have done in the rest of the video right now
That look like that's clearly a piss-take like because it's covered in snow
But yeah, the the energy for that should have translated to the actual high speed
Yeah, cuz look at them. They're dressed like what do you call them? Not Eskimos, but you know, like big snow creatures
Oh, yeah, it's also
The car it was it was a for it's a Ferrari. I don't know which type it is
But it's a why it's it's not very practical for snow. We're really small. Yeah, it's pretty quite tight there
But you have all that coat is a good coach. Yeah, the girlfriend's a
Sushi she feels a bit awkward at that point. I mean the whole video she looks really awkward
Would you not feel awkward if you and I think at that point she was like, yeah dumping you next week getting Christmas
Oh, yeah, get the presents and then I'm out of here. I just felt a bit awkward
I can't remember if I mentioned but that's a that was just talking that you'll then go for it. You mentioned it
She probably isn't an actor
She's like a couple even dragged into this fucking video I just want to go home and
The spaceship flies past Merry Christmas
Abbot
I
Do
Final points. Well, you know the video is
It's rubbish. The song is is I like it. It'll probably always still
Play somewhat every Christmas for me. I still can't believe that I never realized the innuendos, but here we are
I guess I'm a very innocent person being a pure innocence
Totally missed the point. You're out as and such in the video in the videos. It's it's a bit crap
I don't hate it, but I don't I don't love it if I had to choose a favorite points
I guess the bits where
With the choir the kids of the choir sort of show up and then the the other members of the band are just
Standing behind them with like no facial expression and it looks really awkward
I'm not sure what they're doing
It's like they've just captured these kids and they've they've they're giving in
Giving them to to Justin to I don't know do what he wants to with and yeah
And it just looks a bit weird, but I made me laugh because they're just happy as Larry swaying away probably
Not gonna see the end of the night. You never see the kids again. No, you don't sacrificing the kids
I think that's our question turned into to the alien food to the alien. Yes, probably. Yeah
Yeah film points song is good video is dogshit favorite part flashbacks to the ex-girlfriend slash current girlfriend
We don't know her face in the fire just made me laugh because it reminded me of him
What was that video we did where the guy's standing on top of a mountain and he's singing and it's like cuts cuts away
Oh my god, Michael Ball and it reminded me of that and it made me laugh and the worst part is right at the end
of the video
He winks at the camera at one point
I wonder one of the band members wink it winks at the camera and they didn't put a ting sound effect in and that's just
Offensive it was right there guys. It was right fucking there would have took him two seconds. No ting what's part the sound
Person has spoken. No. Yeah, I very specifically didn't actually put down anything for this because I
I'm sorry. I'm sorry guys. I don't have absolutely any
Nostalgia connected to it. Um, I think we should just been it in the same place that we have
CeeLo green and John Travolta and all that. Sorry. I don't think it's good. I don't think it's it. No. No, it's just
Like we're learning over the years that Christmas good Christmas videos are hard to find man
Fuck know if you have any suggestions, please email us
We're struggling at this point. This video we struggle and we're in pain. Yeah, we may have to do mr.
Blobby nature guys
Yeah shatter my dreams, all right, well, thank you for listening everyone
We hope this episode was everything you hoped and wished for under your Christmas tree
It was certainly not under Nelly's went straight in the bin
Me and you enjoyed a fairy very much. Take a look at the show notes for today's links for today's video links to Instagram, etc
Also email. So yes as Dave mentioned, please email us recommendations for next Christmas
Yeah, you can get us on gone too far cast at gmail.com. We'd love to hear your thoughts
Recommendations and for videos if you enjoy the podcast leave us review an apple podcast or a podcast player of your choice
I think that's it for this week. So I guess goodbye from me. Goodbye for me
that
To you
Happy Christmas dear Nelly and dear
Honey, happy Christmas to all our listeners. No, they don't get happy Christmas. We give them the darkness in both ways
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