38: Hooked on a Feeling - David Hasselhoff

HOOKA CHAKA HOOKA HOOKA

*TRAK*

Deep inside of me

Girl, you just don't realize

What you do to me

When you hold me

In your arms so tight

You let me know

Everything's alright

Also, what's dropping the road?

Just the bass.

It is, yeah, it really is.

Especially when you're listening to headphones.

Like, they knew what they were doing with that song.

It was Angel I used to use as like a soft buffer test.

Angel is another one.

It is worth saying to our lovely listeners

that because the incredible amount of very, very,

very intimate talking we need to do today,

which is required from us by this video,

we decided we'll do something else.

We'll do After Hours.

You know, a cup of pints.

Just like, you know, talking about this song,

which has changed our lives in perspective on men specifically.

Oh.

Yeah, we're basically using this as a replacement pop session

because we live at the obscenes of the country.

Indeed, and also it's lunchtime on a Saturday.

Yeah, well, it's lunchtime on a Saturday

and it's in the middle of a fucking heatwave.

Not in here. Here it's mild spring.

It's about low 20s.

Well, OK, it's low 20s here as well, but I'm counting it as a heatwave.

I haven't seen a cloud for five days and I'm slightly scared.

Basically, summer in Scotland.

What if everything gets too dry?

What happens?

Well, this is when you get fires.

It's what happens.

So what beer are you having today, David?

I'm drinking Six Degrees North.

Oh, nice.

That's actually nice.

Raspberry beer.

I've never had raspberry beer before.

It's quite nice.

That is a great choice.

Today's episode is not brought to you by Six Degrees North, but if they would like to give us money, please get in touch.

Completely accidentally, we went for the same color scheme.

I am having a Williams Brothers Caesar Augustus.

Oh, nice, nice.

I like my beards to have a historical

bent. Is it good? Oh yeah, it's Williams

Do they have bad beards?

Not that enough. I feel like horror's gone

So I'll do this

Excuse me

It's said that if a song was never new

and it never gets old, then it's a folk song

Well this is a cover of a cover of a cover

so maybe it counts as one

I don't think there's much to talk about the provenance of this video

masterpiece. Is it the worst music video ever?

We have seen some hot fucking garbage

for this podcast, but this is definitely right up there

the Michael Bolton's and D-Rheams of the world. So where do we even start with this one?

The beginning? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is kind of what we started this podcast to review, I think.

It's safe to say. Yes. Decisions were made and we have to stand by our decisions from nearly six

years ago now. So usually in this section, we'll give you history and information about the music

video director, personnel, what's happening in the video.

And in this case, we can't really do any of that.

The one thing I would want to point out is video does have an IMDb page.

Does it?

Yeah, it does.

And when you open it, there's only one person mentioned in this.

Obviously, our absolutely beloved American music hero, David Hasselhoff, also hero of the

small screen in red shorts.

I think he was in Baywatch, wasn't he?

Yeah, he was.

My God, I'd actually totally forgotten he was in Baywatch.

I'd completely accepted him as a musician.

I mean, to be honest, he was as good as a musician as he was an actor, or is an actor,

I guess.

It's very much worse going on that IMDb page, because if you didn't know that a video has

7.7 out of 10

on IMDb. This is not a joke.

Seriously?

Absolutely. The bad music video fans

have already got to this. We're late

to the point. Obviously. The video is

a vibe as opposed to story.

If you want to imagine

Michael Bolton's

video that we discussed here, which song I can't

remember right now the name of. But imagine

that. But at home. This is Michael

Bolton at home. Yes. What did we get?

Also the animation is amazing

obviously i genuinely thought the video was from 92 turns out it was 97 for four years past uh toy

story take this as you wish yeah it's a master class in green green screen because the entire

video is just david hasselhoff in front of a green screen with various shit happening behind him it

reminds me of those like have you seen like joe when they record karaoke session and they just have

random like stock footage in the background yep exactly what it looks like bob except david hasselhoff

has given it his all.

Yeah, it's kind of as if

he was mock-uped into

random screens, but really badly.

Actually, do you want to talk about the

history of the song itself?

I think most people know this from the

Blue Suede version. Or is that Blue Suede?

Am I saying that right? Blue Suede or Suede, whatever.

Which was the one that's on

the Gardens of the Galaxy soundtrack.

I'll play that now.

I'd be thirsty for another cup of wine

Got a bug from you, girl

But I don't need no cure

I just stay up again

If I can for sure

There you go.

Palace cleanser.

Most people probably know that one,

but I didn't realise that was a cover of a BG Thomas song.

Really keep me thirsty for another cup of wine

I got it bad for you girl

But I don't need a cure

I'll just stay addicted and hope I can endure

Or possibly a Johnston King song.

There's four versions we've found of this song.

but the original was by a guy called bj thomas and that's also really good the blue suede one's

really good i've not heard the johnson this is a david from the future doing the edit and

it's a correction for all these covers first one was bj thomas then it was jonathan king then it

was blue suede then was david hasselhoff the uga chugas were originally in the jonathan king version

which blue suede then copied then david hasselhoff copied i'm gonna say that blue suede started

the uga chugas in the rest of the episode but that's not true so uh yeah back to the episode

because my connection to this song or memory of this song is blue suede's version i've always found

the 13th craze be cheesy and was not really interested in it even during the guardians of

the galaxy craze i knew it existed it just didn't pay much attention to it sorry i'm just looking

david has a call flying in the sky and i just can't yeah it's it's hard to look away from but

but i would say this is specifically a cover of the blue suede one because they were the ones that

added the uga chaga blah blah blah all that shit it's like a cover of a cover possibly of a cover

and it's possibly proof that every time you remake something it's slightly worse i just wonder

What was he thinking?

There's a lot of what I would assume is them just trying to convey the feeling of David Hassoho flying in the sky.

And sorry, I just, he's eating a raw fish right now.

And I guess being so in love with the person he's thinking to, he flies high with the angels.

And also...

Yeah, there's a lot of flying, a lot of angels appearing,

and just David Hasselhoff.

Now he's doing a backflip.

David Hasselhoff and like...

No, he's just...

Sorry, I usually have these videos playing,

but just every time I look at this, I'm bursting out laughing

because something ridiculous is happening.

But yeah, I think it's trying to portray a feeling of ecstasy

about whoever it is David Hasselhoff is singing about.

I mean, I don't know about feeling of ecstasy,

but I feel like you need to be on ecstasy to understand it.

Maybe that was his point, because it's kind of like more disco vibe.

You could interpret it as like a drunk trip, actually.

Yeah, definitely, 100%.

It's just him traveling the world.

Yeah, and also it's a massive ego trip,

and that's probably the one thing I want to point out, that video.

The only, it genuinely feels like he's singing to himself.

he can't believe that he's in love with himself

at no point do we see the person of his affection

at no point do we see anything that could resemble the person of his affection

because every single person is him

you see like multiple David Asselhoffs

I think the only other people in the video is two wee girls dressed as angels

I kind of thought maybe that's his kids or something

but I never looked into it

because we're professionals in this podcast

and there's a couple of dogs

Does he have children?

I have no idea.

So to be honest, there is, well, actually a bunch of people.

The first thing is the very, very first thing you see,

which is him blue screened against,

it looks like a corporate party in the background.

Oh, yeah.

And everyone doing line dancing.

When I say people, you see the people who aren't like,

you know, stock footage is what this appears to me.

But yeah, I suppose you could get the people in the green screen footage.

Maybe that's who he's thinking about.

Maybe, maybe.

Or I don't want to say what kind of tribe they are.

They are a form of native tribe, probably in Africa.

Could be also anywhere else.

I have absolutely no idea because they're just a prop for him.

Yeah, pretty much.

And that's, you know, we can joke about videos as much as we want to.

But holy fucking Christ, this is so offensive.

You don't see people anywhere else.

as in define people you see

like with faces and features

except that one shot and what the

fuck was he thinking?

I don't think much thought

when I did this.

Yeah. If you were to

cover this masterpiece of

a video, where about in the

world would you go?

What would be your preferred

background

to emulate and

show off your

enormous 90s hairdo ego.

Keep all the dancing stuff

exactly the same,

the exact same level

of enthusiasm,

but just have all the horrible shit

in the world happening behind me.

It's like a juxtaposition.

So me as David Hasselhoff

would be completely oblivious

to all the horrible shit

that's happening behind me.

That's probably a bit of

a depressing answer,

but that's where my brain went.

So we're basically saying

it's not going to be just

your face

CGI'd on top of his face?

I presumed I was like

doing the performance. I've not got the same

moves as David Hasselhoff but I can certainly

try. Yeah, I mean that's what I mean. It's much

easier to

GI yourself as opposed to

learn how to fly in the sky without

perfect. I don't know if I could pull off

the level of smugness. Let's talk about his smugness.

Yes. Thanks for the segue.

You're welcome.

I guess the first time we've done one.

My God, we're learning.

I noted in the beginning where the line where he sings

that you're so in love with me.

I, for some reason, thought the song went

you're so, I'm so in love with you.

And I thought, wow, he's so egocentric.

He flipped the song to make it about himself.

It's not true.

The actual song goes you're so in love with me.

But the way he sings it feels like he flipped it.

It's a bit weird for a love song to be thinking about the other person.

because I'm that amazing

obviously

yeah obviously

David Hasselhoff

I can catch fish

he can catch

with your mouth

he's Gollum

oh my god

he's Gollum

is this

the starting point

of Gollum

is this what

he's trying to tell us

does he have

the one ring

it would make sense

yeah that would make

so much sense

that's him just

trying to run away

from Sauron

interesting though

that none of us

ever clocked

that lyric is kind of

feels like it's

the wrong way around

but nobody clocked it

until he sang it

embraced his spugness.

When you listen to the

Blue Sweet Song version,

they still have the same line, but the way

it sang, I did go back and check,

the way it sang was so normal,

like as genuine, it sounds

much more than he's, like

he's in awe, the point of his affection

is that he's

in love with him, as opposed to

in love with him!

The beer

might be kicking in. I'm going to get a second beer.

Please enjoy this intermission.

Jay Drake Hang

We are adults we can do that

So Gollum, right?

That's a good movie

If I may point out

Yes

The movie

The Love Drinks trilogy

As directed by Peter Jackson

Started to be shot around this time

I think in 1998

thereabouts so um you've really got the spectrum of media that year yeah it's a so bad it's good

like gem because it is so bad like i can't believe a professional musician is making this video it's

also fucking hilarious that helps maybe maybe he saw the funny side of it i don't know possibly but

also if he saw the funny side of it today is for the people who are actually not going to spend

three and a half minutes to watch this movie video which fair enough shame on you there's a scene where

shame yes but there's a scene where he's flying in the sky so very high like actually flying in

the sky cgi of not cgi sorry blue screened green screened and he's just flapping his hands and

there's like eagles and whatever crap around flying around him maybe he was in on the joke but also

speaking of being in on the joke sorry i just saw something that i never noticed before the very

opening with the hugo chaga bababa it actually does have the karaoke like uh lyric thing with

the wee ball bouncing across it.

Yeah, yeah.

So maybe it was actually deliberate.

Are you trying to tell me that he was recording this

to be specifically in the background

whenever people sing the songs of karaoke?

I think the joke would have landed a bit harder

if the karaoke carried on throughout

because I literally only just noticed that.

It's kind of one of those things where we occasionally criticise this.

If you're trying to make a joke,

but you don't do it correctly or competently

or go into the joke deep enough,

is the joke worth it?

I do have to give this credit for the fact

this is the most I've laughed at a video,

I think, so far.

Out of all the ones we've done,

I think it's just because David Hasselhoff

is giving it his all.

Like, flying off his motorbike

and flying into space and stuff.

Yeah, fair enough.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe he's in on the joke.

The problem is nobody else knows

what the joke is.

I personally will stand behind the opinion

that he's Gollum

and he's running away from Sauron.

And it kind of makes sense.

So first you have the introduction,

so you have, like,

For the people who are not going to see the video, why?

It's a cube where it just has different scenes on each side and rotates.

And then it zooms into one of the scenes.

And you have David Kassov singing in front of those line dancing people.

But then suddenly shoots up in space, as you do.

And my opinion is that's what's happening here.

He just, he's at his office party.

And then suddenly he realizes that he has the ring.

And he doesn't want to be at that office party.

So he disappears, metaphorically flows into the sky.

And then you see him running around everywhere,

like just three different parts of the world,

trying to hide away because he's used the ring.

So he's on the run.

That's why he's like teleporting from place to place.

Indeed.

And this is why it looks like the way it does,

because he's just running away from the Nazghosts.

And the eagles you see are actually the Nazghosts.

Those are not eagles, those are goose.

Sorry.

But, you know, the Nazgul's definitely.

But he's flying with them.

He's blending in so well.

He's pretending to be a goose.

A goose.

Geese goose.

Goose, geese.

Geese goose.

And the angels are still following him,

so I don't know if I trust them either.

No, no, those are elves.

He didn't have the right to actually show elves,

so he showed Christian angels.

Right.

Hey, hi.

Modern version.

It's a cool play of The Lord of the Rings.

I can pitch it to Scott.

I can pitch to Scott.

Hold on.

Scott!

Come here for a sec.

It will work out.

I'm telling you.

It's a masterpiece.

Of a modernized version of Lord of the Rings.

Okay.

Where Gollum is played by David Hasselhoff.

Okay.

What is the precious ring that David Hasselhoff was trying to keep?

He might have a Prince Albert feeling of other versions.

Oh.

Modernizing this.

He dug too greedy and too deep.

Do you have any questions?

Yes.

I had no part in this pitch, so I don't know what to say.

But yeah, could you convince your students to get on board with this plan?

Could I?

I mean, they do all kinds of random stuff at school plays.

So doing a Lord of the Rings where everyone's wearing baseball caps and saying yo,

it's probably like, it's perfectly normal.

For David Hasselhoff to be there, that is definitely a safeguarding issue.

And I would probably think that he's at least banned from most schools by at least 100 meters.

Citation needed.

That's all based on vibes.

Please don't see us.

We cannot use that.

Allegedly.

Allegedly.

Okay, that's right now.

That's right now.

I think that's how I watch it.

I'm going to pass the microphone back to Danny before I get us sued.

Oh, yes.

Children are harder than our schools.

That is absolutely true.

The flying children in the video,

100% on the Nazgul's.

Right.

Take this off before I get you in legal trouble.

Yeah, I think there's not much more to say about this.

Yeah, it's one of those things that you should watch it.

Although, maybe have a cup of pints before that, you know.

Take a look at the show notes for links to today's video,

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And we have to say thank you to the Scott's We Hay podcast

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It's been that long since we've had an episode out,

but thank you for the mention.

If you want to listen to that podcast,

you can go to www.scotswehay.com.

And we hay is spelt W-H-A-Y-H-A-E

in the traditional fashion.

It's actually on my rotation nowadays.

Thanks, bye.

See you next time.

Six to seven months.

*thud*