Your brain on boot pop is a peanut size.
back to 1999, the year the Matrix
described as the peak of human civilization.
Well, that's debatable. I think we can all
agree that it was definitely the peak of
one notable music sub-genre, Britpop.
And we have a fine example today.
Join us for one anthropomorphic
milk cartons
love story of, uh, fucking hell,
that's a hard word to say. Anthropomorphic.
David, David, anthropomorphic.
Anthropomorphic.
You should just, like, say it now and then
you should put, like, the AI voice
lady to say it over here.
anthropomorphic milk pardon you won't believe what he did next are you making it comic sans
i am no no no no no yeah i remember in in primary school they said that the reason why comic sans is
you so much is because if you're dyslexic or dyspraxic or whatever it's easier to read like
i don't know it's easier for your eyes to see i might be wrong so let's try that again say the word
Anthropomorphic. It worked.
Join us for one anthropomorphic milk carton's story of love, loss and discovery.
It's Coffee and TV by Blur.
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically flawed
One of many zeros
Kicked around four
Your ears are full but you're empty
"Coffee & TV" was released on the 28th of June 1999, where it reached a respectable
11th in the charts in the UK, 22nd in Ireland and weirdly, 22nd in Iceland.
Who knew Iceland was so into Britpop?
The song itself is about Blur's guitarist Graham Coxon's struggle with alcoholism.
He also did the vocals of the song,
which is probably why it is one of the better sounding Blur songs.
But to be honest, the bar with them or any Britpop band is on the ground.
Man, I hate Britpop.
Dave, this is your fault again.
Sorry.
We'll get into Nelly's hatred of Britpop later.
Oh, you don't like it.
Do you?
Oh, it depends.
I will judge you if you say yes, so...
I'm not a massive fan, but I feel like it's just a default due to our location,
which unfortunately is Britain at the moment.
The video was produced and directed by Hammer and Tongs,
who consists of director Garth Jennings and producer Nick Goldsmith.
The pair produced a small truckload of late 90s and early 90s music videos,
including Ash, Travis, Hot Chip and Beck.
They later went on to direct full-blown films,
including one of my personal favourites, the film version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
which, as a massive Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fan,
is actually good, even if it's not quite on par with the books.
but it's still good.
It's got a couple of jokes in it
that are unique to the film
that are hilarious.
Ford, I think I'm a sofa.
I know how you feel.
I'm getting sidetracked.
I think Saga's going to Galaxy's career.
Really good puppets in that as well,
which is another thing we will talk about.
Yeah, like the book,
I don't remember the movie Beyond,
Mos Def, so...
Yeah, Mos Def was good, isn't it?
Good Ford Prefect.
Although Charlie, who was on last time,
he described Martin Freeman
as the tuna sandwich of acting.
He's never bad,
but he's, you know,
he's just kind of,
it was all right, yeah.
That's a good way to put it.
He's, yeah, do you understand which fucking sounds about right?
The video follows a sentient milk carton called Milky,
who embarks on a journey to find the upper-mentioned Grim,
who's gone missing,
but venturing out into the big bad world
proves to be a bit more than Milky bargained for.
So can you copy and see me easily?
I've seen so much I'm going blind
And I'm playing it virtually
The social reality is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big path
Growing the creeps and marrying me
It's the meat that's not over again
We're milky.
Is milky not just going through life
like everyone's currently going through life
where it's one step forward, two steps back?
How often do you have your love interest
being stepped on to death by a giant human.
I mean, it could be a metaphor.
I mean, we all get stepped on, right?
Our love gets stepped on.
I mean, we all have a teacher who gets stepped on every day.
Keep your kinks in the bedroom away from us.
Yes.
I like how you just have to take a second,
just to stop for a second.
That's an extra podcast.
Available by request.
that's available to members only
we can't rewind we've gone too far
after hours
we've gone too far
too far
we really can't stop
everybody remembers this video
it's fucking good
the main thing I was kind of wondering
watching it is like
how the fuck did they animate the milk carton
oh I thought it was a human in a costume
it was like for the walking scenes
and like the movement scenes
where a person in a costume
and the rest was probably stop motion
because you know you have the change of faces and whatever to me it looks like a guy in the suit but
i couldn't find any actual answers on how they did it online so i'm like it's a total guess so i don't
know if there's like a combination of different things like there's a there might be a wee robot
milk carton or a puppet a puppet milk carton or something and they've got other shots of a guy in
a suit i couldn't find anything so yeah it's fucking fucking impressive it's good i guess i'll give it
If there's anyone, I don't know who hasn't seen the video, basically, this world seems
to be full of sentient food containers and milk curtains and bottles and stuff like that.
Instantly, my brain goes to what are the rules of this world?
Like, is every container sentient?
Like, is your partner talking to you as you're cooking it?
Well, like, what's the rules here?
Like the shit toy story?
Yeah.
The contents of your fridge is just alive all day.
None of the humans seem fazed by it though.
So I don't know if they know that all their stuff is alive.
When I was a child, as well as a nine-year-old when I watched this,
I always got reactions at the time that I genuinely thought that the humans didn't quite realise,
with a few exceptions of Big Susie and the motorcycle guy.
It didn't seem like, you know, the love interest that we'll speak about briefly, shortly, briefly,
as brief as their love for each other.
She was tapped on by a giant human.
It didn't seem malicious, if that made sense.
It felt accidental.
And the way it was portrayed, it always felt like,
oh, the humans just don't know this.
Because, you know, Toy Story,
maybe the motorcyclist is behind the motorcycle helmet.
It's anthropomorphic something, if we don't know.
Maybe he just wanted the milk carton.
He wasn't actually picking them up.
He was just like, oh, fuck, free milk.
But he waves at him on the way back.
So I don't know.
how does it explain
Big Susie Dove
she might have been
off her tits
I don't know
I think generally
I think yeah
Toy Story Rules
is probably a good
rough
estimate of what's
going on here
which is probably
actually just for the
three people who have
not seen the video
just to explain what
actually happens
what we're talking about
the milk carton
has the face of
Graham Cox
as like a missing
person
yeah I'm glad you
added that last bit
because the mental
image of my
It was quite different.
He had it on his bike and he's walking around,
making its hatred of humanity known.
So it basically has his face as a missing person,
which is something that has probably not been relevant since the 80s,
but you know, everybody gets that.
We see a shot of his family.
I presume his sister, though his sister looks about 27.
I don't know why she's in pigtails, but I presume that she's supposed to look younger.
And she actually is, and his parents are just worrying over this.
We get the point of like, oh, this is like a missing person.
Where is that person?
When I watched it initially, I thought he looked...
So when you're nine, everyone that is older than 10 looks older.
I thought like, oh, he's probably a teen or something like this.
And when I look at them, I'm like, all those people in their 20s,
why is there a milk carton missing person on it?
That was for children specifically, I think, probably.
Maybe not. Anyway, so Miyuki comes to life and goes on a missing person mission to find Graham
and goes through different stages of life, I guess, and loss and depression. And again,
he just finds Graham in the garage where he plays with his shitty band playing the shitty song. And
he goes, oh shit, my family doesn't know that I'm missing, although it must have been for long enough
for them to put my face on the box.
Shit, I need to go home.
I do have a question for Neo,
considering that he's...
I know we can see this,
but for the sake of our audience,
I'm currently holding the mic
like an actual microphone.
Yeah, so I'm just going to interview Neo now.
Considering that you're usually a bit of an outlier
when it comes to knowing the music we're discussed,
when was the first time you heard the song
slash watch the video?
No, I don't have the honest answer.
Was it last night?
No, a couple of nights ago, whatever.
Because in 1999, I didn't have a computer.
I wasn't on the internet.
I was nine.
I don't think I've ever seen this before.
I'll be honest with you.
What?
And as a fan of Britpop, you know, Oasis, Coldplay, The Cooks, I just miss Blur, unfortunately.
So I don't know much about them.
I know that one song that everyone knows, Song 2.
Usually when Nelly takes the piss out of you for not seeing stuff,
I'm kind of like, ah, you know, you can miss stuff.
But really? This one?
I don't think I ever have.
And I don't know why.
Well, we have a fresh perspective somehow.
So what did you think of this hot, fresh new music video?
I have a hot, fresh new music video.
I have a habit of things we look at.
I often look at them, you know, from a today's perspective.
And this is another one of those examples that it feels more modern than it ought to be.
It doesn't feel like an old video.
It's original.
It's fun.
It's not boring.
It's a great concept for a video in general.
Just overall, the concept I'm totally on board with.
It's like your classic fish out of water film where, you know, the country boy goes to the big city for the first time.
And he learns lots of lessons about life, except it stars a milk carton.
And I'm like, yes.
I did remember seeing that video when, I don't know if it came out, but it would have been around 1999 probably.
And I found it very depressing, which is a very weird thought to have for like an eight, nine-year-old who's seen it for the first time.
Not confused, but annoyed at it because I thought it wasn't, in my critique, views of nine-year-olds.
I understood what they were going for.
Like I didn't understand the alcoholism part, but I understood the lost person and this milk carton going on a journey.
Because it's a very, very simple video anyway.
There's nothing particularly difficult about what they're doing.
I just kept thinking like, man, they could have done it a bit less on the nose.
Nine-year-old me, which I remember being annoyed.
What did you think was too on the nose about?
It was just very obvious.
It was very simplistic.
it's like a cartoon
but it doesn't go beyond that
in terms of the actual content
and I still agree with nine year old me
by this point I was obviously very
exquisite and had great taste
so like my music videos
have to be a bit more refined
have a bit more
you shouldn't say choir
I want to use
my three brain cells
that I have at age nine
to use them a bit more
I think I disagree with nine year old Naila
there where i think the simplicity is one of the good things about it it's i didn't really i didn't
really clock that is actually quite sad until you said though because i'm an idiot and my brain was
just there's a happy dancing milk corn so yeah i never really clocked yeah it's actually kind of a
story when you think about it but he gets he you know he comes back gets the guy back yeah milky
completes his mission he learns a few things along the way well i think the one thing that was confused
as a nine-year-old and i'm still confused as a three-year-old is how long was the guy yeah just
in general, how long has this guy gone for?
Yeah, I bet.
He's just been in this basement with his shit band
playing this shit music for like, what, months?
And not even for saying he was like,
oh shit, I should probably call my family.
And it's done the context of like,
oh, our co-coclism takes you away from it.
But if you're going to do this,
then do it a bit obvious when you,
or like in a different way.
Like, phones existed in 99.
Maybe it's one of those things where he ran away
to follow his dream of being in a Britpop band
and he just kind of got so caught up in that
he forgot about his family
and it took the brave Milky to come wake him up.
Wake up Sheepo.
I don't know why I said that.
Sheepo being blur.
Yeah, he was so caught up in chasing his dreams
he forgot about what really mattered
and it took a milk carton to remind him.
That it didn't take long much, did it?
Yeah.
It was right there.
It was like, it wasn't the subcontext,
it was the context.
The door is full of their language
There's wisdom that you're sure
Till the words start stirring
And you can't find the door
So can you come the MTV
He's the week
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
No, I just wanted to bring to one of the later thoughts I had.
And I want to hear your thoughts about it.
The video gave me very strong Black Hole Sun vibes in terms of the video.
Obviously differently made in different contexts, but very similar color palettes and shots of
people and like kind of like the overreactions of people and faces they make and just gesturing
and all of that.
Man, this is like the either less depressing or more depressing,
depending how you want to look at it, version of Black Hole Sun.
Yeah, I never really clocked it before you said it,
but it's like, but yeah, it has a similar thing
where all the human characters are all quite,
apart from maybe the family,
but all the human characters are quite exaggerated
and, you know, kind of chewing the scenery a bit.
Lots of weird angle shots,
but I guess that's kind of the point of view of Milky,
especially Big Susie.
She's quite a Black Hole Sun-y, actually.
Yeah.
If you haven't seen the video,
Milky finds a business card for Big Susie.
The business card says that Susie can bring all your dreams come true
or something like that.
So Neo, when there's a card like this, she's pissed.
So she doesn't milk Milky?
Oh, God.
I think she didn't do her job, did she?
She's not into milk.
Should we dive into what you're thinking was there
or should we just leave that?
Up to use of my drug-induced...
I'm sorry, when I say, dear listeners, when I say drugs in use,
they mean that I have colds.
And I might have overdosed and passed it a more.
No, no.
I've been watching Breaking Bad.
And Nellie, you're high on me.
You're exactly the way they get on in that show.
God damn it, I've been told.
I could so easily ruin your career right now, Nellie.
But yeah, okay.
The point of that whole conversation came from...
No, I mean, I can elaborate, but I think it might be...
I don't know if it would be funny or more frustrating if I just run the milk come jog to the ground
without any understanding what I'm talking about.
It needs the context of our conversation last night, which we don't have.
Well, the context is that what if they were born this way, meaning that they reproduce somehow.
So how do they reproduce?
And again, paracetamol, a lot of it, made me...
wipes a bit of like the whatever milk is in his mouth and picks the box.
My mind went where I see the more induced minds go sometimes,
which is complete nonsense.
I'm like completely lost it.
And I started thinking about what they reproduce the way,
because it's milk, so it's dairy, so it's mammals.
So the way that mammals reproduce is...
When a mummy and a daddy mama love each other very much.
Exactly. They do special hugs.
Because of my point that basically the whole milk content is out of reproduced, which led to milk.
I regret nothing. Well, I regret a lot of things, but definitely not this.
I will park this and go and grab Scott to hear his thoughts on milk.
Please stand by. You won't believe this one weird trick.
I want to ask you from a scientific point of view.
Okay.
Scientific point of view, it's milk on.
The culture, the live culture in the milk
has clearly just, you know, gone off the rails now.
It's no longer just some little microbiome.
It's fully evolved into a complex organism.
So basically the good bacteria has turned into sentient bacteria.
Yes, and we no longer know if it's good bacteria or not
because it has its own will.
It could be bad bacteria now.
Who knows?
It could be complex moral bacteria.
I'm not clear on how the actual leg movements and stuff would work.
Oh, it just, you imagine like it's some kind of slime mold fungal thing
that has full control over like different appendages
and it's just some giant colony organism,
which essentially all organisms are anyway.
We're just colonies of cells and don't worry about that
and don't let it keep you awake at night.
Oh, you haven't thought the bulk of milk comes here.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This is where milk come came from.
Okay, so clearly, clearly it's trying to spread the colony to other colonies now.
Yeah, that's how that works.
It's part of its natural life cycle.
Yeah, it's his budding phase.
It's just letting off some spores
and those are going to turn into new milk people.
Good to know.
They might need a host, they might not.
Who knows?
That's for you to find out
if you're willing to take some of the milk come.
Maybe it's like spreading from sentient milk carton
to like normal milk carton.
The normal milk carton becomes a sentient milk carton.
That's just like flower phase.
It's a normal milk carton.
And then it needs time to like grow arms and legs.
And eventually it stands up.
It's like, I'm ready to go now.
It's kind of like halfway between the thing and fucking the last one.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
It's just like, is that a milk corn?
Or is that a thing that is going to come alive?
Could be both.
All right, cool.
Have fun, guys.
Oh, no, he's leaving.
Come back.
Come back, T-shirt.
That was Scott from Sentient Milk Corner.
I'm surprised that he actually had a full
own like full growth
like theory and like knowledge
on how would that work
he always does he's like
he's reliable
yes he's a reliable
source of scientific information
we like Scott
Milk Heaven how does that work in terms of religion
Milk Heaven well I mean
they're taking quite a
traditional Christian approach where you know
the Milky Dyes and you know
is it turns into an angel, which is great, which is lovely, which is actually quite sweet.
Brings this depressing video to a nice sort of closure.
Also, how does that work in terms of deities?
Like, do they see, is Milk God a milk box as well?
Or is it just the God God?
Milk is a white, off-white colored liquid.
And the video shows us going into the white.
So milk's going back to where milk belongs.
Maybe it's just the same for all creatures,
be the human, animal or milk carton.
Okay, final points.
David, go.
We've devined deeper into this video
than I've ever really thought about it before.
I previously just thought of it, of the music video with the happy little milk carton, but
there's more to it than that.
So, you know, nothing's ever as simple as it seems.
Favourite and worst parts, the happy little milk carton again.
And the worst part is people being mean to the happy little milk carton.
Fuck those people.
Don't be that guy.
Best parts was, I like when I got on the motorbike.
That was fun.
I mean, how does a milk carton stay on the back of a motorcycle?
That pushes it too far for me.
That has hands.
That's tiny hands.
Little hands, little hands.
No, a little hand doesn't work like that.
How would you know?
Well, actually, he has the lactose intolerant in the room.
Yeah, I don't know a thing about him, though.
And for a lesson as a home, Neil has gigantic hands.
He doesn't know how it feels to have small hands.
And I guess, worst part...
Twice the size.
Of a normal human being.
Yeah, twice the size.
We're built differently in Ireland.
worst part. I didn't
like the way... What's
the lead singer Blair called?
Damon
Amoncia. Why not?
The way he drinks his milk. That seems
like he just murdered his
milk and didn't even look at
it. He didn't even know what he was drinking.
He's not seen a safety
video about don't drink random
liquids. Even if you're thirsty, it could be acid.
He just drinks his milk.
I thought that was a bit odd. He basically just
found a random carton of milk on the street
well on the window
he didn't check the date
he just fucking went for it
down for milky
doesn't like that
he could have
he could have paid more attention
to his mil
so my final point
the video is very well done
and has an original idea
regardless of what
nine year old me thought
it's cool
it's well done
it has really interesting shots
very competently made
favourite part
the video reminded me
to text my mum
which I did
and then she responded
sending me pictures
of her getting
being on wine tasting in somewhere in Czech Republic with her friends.
So there you go.
And the worst part is...
Sorry, I'm just taking off my notes.
Worst part is milk, apparently, according to my paracetamol-ridden brain.
No, actually, the worst part is a bit pop in general.
Just put it to rest.
Set it on fire.
It's 24.
There's better music out there.
Well, there was better music in 99 as well, but definitely now.
So sorry, y'all.
Take a look at the show notes for links to today's video.
links to Instagram
not Twitter anymore
because Elon Musk is a cunt
also email
gone2farcast
at gmail.com
we'd love to hear your thoughts
and any recommendations
for videos
if you're enjoying the podcast
please leave us a review
in Apple Podcasts
Spotify
or your podcast player
of choice
we did one
yeah
you may have noticed
that episode releases
are sporadic as fuck
but we are still
doing them occasionally
but just
adult life is difficult
and also you don't pay us
so fuck you
we get to do whatever you want
bye
Wave at the microphone.
Thanks, your parents.