[Transcript generated with MacWisper] Blanket fort!
Blanket fort!
Hello and welcome to Become Rewind if you've gone too far!
A podcast where we discuss the worst, silliest and weirdest as fuck music videos!
Hi, I'm Nele!
Hi, I'm Dave!
We're back after a few months of skiving, working hard
and we're ready to rock, rock and roll our way out of figuring if the call of the winter moon by water...
by watermelon... by moto is the single most unintentionally hilarious video that has ever existed.
Hmm.
This video can be best described as baby's first larping experience.
We see the band immortally flocking around a local Norwegian woods.
Wait, hold up, hold up.
You do know that the band's name is Immortal, right?
It's not saying Immortally, the band is Immortal.
Right, we see the band.
Let me put a comma in there.
Immortally Frolicking, though.
If we did show titles, that would be the show title.
We see...
OK.
We see the band, Immortal,
frolicking through the local Norwegian woods,
wearing capes, pointy wizard hats,
wearing a lo-fi kiss style makeup,
and most likely shouting "lightning bolt" in between the shots.
Excuse my voice today.
The song, taken from the album "Diabolical Full Moon Mysticism"
Jesus that's a thing
Shares a limelight with six other tracks with amazing titles like "Blacker Than Darkness",
"Cryptic Winter Storms" and "The Unholy Forces of Evil"
The story of the video is probably even more hilarious.
Shot in the forest around the ruins of a Norwegian monastery, it features the members of the
mortal immortalising themselves in corpse face paint, angry looks, long style hair and
spiky armbands.
According to the band, the video was shot in two hours.
In an interview with one of the band members,
he said, "In regard to the stylistic choices,
as far as I can remember,
we were a bit confused in those days.
I'm sure a lot has changed in the 30 years
since making the video."
That pretty much sums up any time I try to remember anything.
I think I was a bit confused at the time.
- To be honest, their confusion is pretty much
spelt on their faces, that's fine.
- So, initial thoughts on this grainy VHS
looking masterpiece.
- Well, I was confused, not gonna lie.
first video back after a while. I was, um, I forgot we had a podcast and I forgot the
quality of videos we sometimes choose for this podcast. And I can't speak for the rest
of the group, but I feel personally, this has hit an all time low. This, this, this
video is very questionable for many reasons. One, because it's quite hard to see what's
actually going on. And the best way to describe it is, uh, listeners imagine wherever you
are just just just look at whatever you're looking at now if you happen to
have Vaseline next to you smear that across your eyes on your eyeballs that's
correct and just have a look at the world and describe the shapes and the
colors and the textures and pretty much what you see is what this video is
showing mind you there is swords, man-larping which which yep don't get me
wrong which is fun. They were all confused so that's fine. I feel like I can relate to the
actual musicians in this because I don't think anyone knew what was going on.
It definitely has the feel of just a bunch of pals who just grabbed the camera and went
and fucked around in the woods. I was watching it like what is their objective? What are
they all doing? As far as I can tell there doesn't seem to be an objective. I've only
watched that a couple of times. Is there something I'm missing?
I mean it's just you guys are variety, Black Metal band trying to look very edgy. I don't
know how old they were. I presume they were 400 years old.
Yeah it's hard to tell through the makeup.
I'm gonna... considering that they've been playing for like 30 odd years, I'm gonna say
probably late teens, very early 20s at best.
I've never been LARPing but I'm a fan of abandoned buildings and wandering around forests.
It looks like they're having a good time and I think that kind of came at me by osmosis.
So the lead singer is 48.
But now are they?
No.
He's still LARPing.
Yes he's 18, he's going strong.
No he's 48 now, so he was 18.
18 17 18 they were kids which makes so much sense suddenly.
Yeah, did you hear any other music or seen any other videos other than this before? How
did you find this Nelia? I don't actually know.
Yeah, why? Why? What were you doing?
I don't remember why. I know how. I don't remember why. A friend of mine decided to
save me this video. I do not remember what the context was. Kind of stuck in my brain
is something to remember. You know who you are saying me that fucking music but also
it's an amazing video so. But yeah no it's LARPing.
So they're basically just LARPing. Yeah. For I'm not all that I'm aware that exists. I
don't know what the rules of LARPing are. What are the rules of engagement when you're
LARPing? Do you just go into the forest and fuck around like this? Is that the general
idea? I don't think like any people who did that when we were teens like. It stands for
live-action roleplay or something? Yeah, so we basically dressed up. I don't remember
anyone going to the extent of doing full mime makeup, you know like dressing up in like
some dumb way. It's not too much because we still went to the forest, we were fully aware
we were going to the forest. Don't wear flip-flops or heels or whatever, because we're not insane.
You had a cape and walking boots. Kind of and a loaf of beer, but we never went to the
extent of like doing the proper waving stuff around and fighting or something.
I think I did. I have just remembered there's something that could maybe technically do
it at the Lord of the Rings drinking game. I think we're about 21 or 22 the type for
some reason had a box of like just random hats like fucking wizard times and chips.
I can't remember why we put all them on and we ran out of booze by the end of the second
film I think. So we did walk to the shop with our wizard hats and all that shit on. Just
Just remember the look on the people's face as these absolutely hammered people in wizard
tats walk in.
We're on a mission.
We need more booze.
We're watching the extended edition.
We didn't prepare for how fucking long the extended editions are.
How did you not fall asleep after the second one?
We made it, but not by much.
I still remember the hangover to this day.
It was bro.
What are you, have you got any experiences of this?
From LARPing?
I know, but my friend of mine used to make short films and he always used to make them
outside in the woods. That always used to piss me off because I don't like, I don't
like woods. Well, I do like woods. I like walking through woods, not working on woods.
So I can kind of see how they felt a bit confused, you know, running from this point to that
point. Look like you're concerned. Give me some sort of action. I think their makeup
hides a lot of their actual emotions, which is interesting, but I can see through it.
You can see the sadness in the makeup.
I think larping is something I would, my brother, he, my brother was the type who
would grow up with, you know, one thing, one thing to play with swords.
That's the best way to describe it.
This is the podcast exclusive.
My brother was playing with said sword once I was inside on the computer.
This was 2001, by the way, first year ever having a computer and I heard him scream
and he came running in and he had to stab himself in the leg.
Um, yeah, he stabbed himself.
And you know, I was, I was 11 and I didn't know what to do.
I mean, I'm 11 year old, not first aid trained.
He had to hobble up my neighbor's steps.
He had about 15 steps up to the front door.
They weren't in.
And then he went to the other neighbor who were in, they called an ambulance
and the, uh, the paramedics arrived.
And my brother was doing, he was doing his outside in the back garden in his
pajamas, his paramedics arrived.
And it was these two, these two attractive females and they had
the cutest structures off.
I mean, he's in pajamas, so he didn't have any underwear on.
So let's just say he never played with swords again.
Wow.
Yeah.
You needed to finish the picture fully.
Were his pyjamas Lord of the Rings pyjamas?
Well, yeah, they probably had some sort of game theme to them.
He never lived that down, did he?
No. Well, he almost died.
He almost had an artery, so, you know, it's not a laughing matter.
- Did he actually? - No, no, he didn't.
- Almost. He almost did. - That's kind of hilarious.
They've got a lot of flaming staffs in this video.
I mean, you could hurt yourself with that, I guess.
Accidentally set your mate on fire.
I don't know how flammable their makeup is that's the main concern for me.
Uh I don't think that was a worry of a 17-18 year old. I don't know whether they were drunk,
I don't want to presume just because they were in a black metal band but it's probably safe to
assume they were in some form of alcohol involved. I think the drinking age in Norway I think it's
16 maybe. It would be a shame to go into the forest with a bunch of flaming sticks and not
have some beer in my opinion. You absolutely need alcohol to get the flame
oh the flame blower guy what's the word? Fire breather, fire breather.
Yes you need alcohol for this. A guy from uni, postgrad, so this guy's his mid-30s
he has a very very large collection of swords which as far as I know as far as I remember him
saying that he just kind of has a pile of them I don't think he actually has them anywhere proper
But I've seen videos, like Instagram videos of him drunk, just swinging actual swords
around and it's kind of hilarious.
Don't play with swords when you're drunk kids, that's going to end badly.
I don't think it's the worst thing he's done when he's drunk, so he's fine.
There's a Bulgarian expression that God protects the idiots and the drunk and I think he's
kind of in the "Bolga" category.
That's a good point.
Yeah, I like that saying.
It is. It's a very, it's a very good thing. Whenever someone's like, Oh, this good person
is going to something. It's like, it's fine. He don't be fine. Don't be fine.
How do you say that in Bulgarian? Just out of interest.
Pianiti luditi gospo gipazi.
Sure Bulgarian lesson for today.
Bless you Nelly. Bless you.
Bless you my child. Do you want to ask anything Scott? He's
Yeah. Has he ever been laughing?
Scott?
What?
Do you have any stories of swinging swords while you're bosscouching?
We didn't do laughing at scouts. We just got sick and hit each other.
It's the same concept as a sword.
Does she tell the Templars that?
I can take a second and appreciate the band member names because they're fucking amazing.
Abbeth Doon
Okolta
Armageddon
Crib
Iskara
Iskaria
I want to say it's a Jewish name or biblical name but I don't know how to say it.
Yeah it does sound biblical it just does.
Judas Iskaria
Oh yeah
Polyon
Spell H O R G H
Pronounce
Hans
Neil
Orgish
Pretty sure that's a brand of car.
The new hog-ish.
And a piece of IKEA furniture.
I'm just setting on my hog-ish.
Piece of IKEA cough syrup.
Goes with my Kia cough syrup right now.
And the notes you've written, it sounds like a random IKEA name generator.
So they found a fantasy name generator.
Oh you found one?
I did yeah.
But there is Vex Shadow Walker, spelled with double x and double w.
- "Vek Vuvu"? No, Vek Vuvu Vuvu. What's his name?
Obsidian Morgan.
- Obsidian? I'm taking Obsidian Morgan.
- Oh, that's a good one actually.
- Ah, my old friend Obsidian Morgan.
- How do you do Obsidian?
- So if you had to shoot a black metal video,
what would you do?
I definitely think fire would be involved for me
as much fire as physically possible.
- Forest is kind of a safe bet that comes
to this sort of stuff.
Sort of fantasy, witches and wizards,
lots of trees to walk through.
It feels very adventurous.
I think a graveyard.
Graveyard's a good shout because it sometimes has trees
and obviously you have gravestones and lots of fire.
I think zombies.
There'd be some sort of theme around raising the dead.
Lots of smoke.
Now they actually done a lot of this in this video,
just that it was shot through a potato.
So you can't really make it out.
- That's a good point.
I think you said natural production coming to show this, allegedly.
- I'm going to Wikipedia.
- 'Cause it really does look like one of those old handicams or whatever,
you'd shove a like a full-size VHS in. I didn't catch the year of this? 92. Wow.
This is what 1992 looked like? Shit. I just realized something, at the end of the video
you see it going on to whatever was next in the program so maybe the reason this looks so
shit is literally because it's ripped off of VHS rather than the original looking this shit.
I don't think the original looked much better because it was being shot for tv
so here's the resolution of potato. The 90s were a weird time for videos like this like really
low budget music video shot on really low end cameras really old school tape like this is a
terrible terrible tape transfer yeah it's it's done on the absolutely lowest quality been put
on vhs and then it's been put on youtube before people uploaded hd videos on youtube as we've
ran it about many times very much safety still wasn't great initially i just want to circle back
for a second for the black metal music video great suggestions guys i'm just disappointed
that you wait for the boring safe fruit as opposed to something more adventurous like
Blanket forts.
Like what?
Blanket forts.
Like if...
Blanket forts.
Like if they're in the forest.
Yeah, they're in the forest, but not real one.
Turns out that it's just some 10-year-olds,
80-year-olds in a blanket fort thinking they're in the forest,
pretending like playing in the forest.
And here's why it's such a fucking bad video,
because it's 80-year-olds pretending to be in the forest.
And they think, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Imagine how cool it would be if we had swords.
Imagine if we had fire.
Fire in the wood would be so cool."
And when you imagine that video actually being in the mind of an eight-year-old who wants to play
with their eight-year-old friends then it makes much more sense. That would tie the whole thing
together I think. So we need a time machine we need to go back and tell them to do this.
Blanket force.
I think that this is a real complaint about it is that there's no objective, there's no
storyline, there's no reason for what they're doing as far as I can tell. If they just had
something in there where it was like this is why we're here, like I don't know finding some magical
sword or some sh... just pull any shit out and put that at the end and it would have been a lot
better because at the moment it's just shots of people sort of jumping around randomly. Although
some of the shots were decent enough for what it was. I feel this podcast has hit an all-time low
So thanks to this video, the worst and potato quality video is something that I recommend
sharing with your worst enemy.
For a video that was apparently made in two hours, they honestly would have been better
off making a video about paint drying.
This is really a genre of music, I'm interested anyway.
And the autoclose captioning on YouTube couldn't translate this nonsense noise.
Yeah, I tried to think, I wonder if I could hear the lyrics, but it just sounds like your
stomach when it's hungry.
Inaudible grumbling in Norwegian.
So what's your final points Nelly?
lightning bolt. Is that the full review? Oh, kind of. If you, if you've seen that lightning
bolt video, if you've been taught lightning bolt, you immediately get what I mean. So
my favorite part, I think it's the shot where it's the guy blowing the fire. It's kind of
looked and he's going, I think that was good. And the worst part is whoever transferred
this over to youtube get in and didn't put it in a proper whoever fucked up the transfer
is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, that person's fault for the quality of this video and not
just to be doing them. If anyone has a higher quality version of this or any of the fucking
videos we fucking look at let us know. What are the chances? You never know, you never know.
Slim to slightly above noon. I'm taking it. In GunterFireCaster gmail.com please email us.
Nia what are your favourite and worst points, moments? Favourite part was I just tried to put
myself in the position of them during that shoot and I wanted to know whose idea was to bring a
fire breather to a forest. I mean they were clearly following a very strict risk assessment
for that location because they didn't burn the forest down, or maybe they did. That actually
might explain why YouTube only has a three minute version of a video or a song which
is five and a bit minutes. Yeah the quality is pretty much unforgiving as Dave just said,
I think whoever did upload this is a complete and utter moron. But then again it's too,
But the video is listed as 2000 so I mean early 2000s so.
It's better than losing it entirely I guess.
My favorite part is hand down exactly the 10 second mark.
The guy just popping his head from like behind the tree going hi guys.
I don't know why just it feels so slapsticky unintentionally I think but it's hilarious.
I understand what you guys saying about the non-existent quality of the video.
Really there's not much to hate about a bunch of dogs in carnival shop costumes trying to
look edgy and angry, especially considering that you, when you realise that they were
17 and 18 and like, yeah, I probably would have done the same when I was 18.
I'm going to, I'm going to give it an I just for, just for sheer comedy value.
I, if you're into cheesy bad b-movie quality films and know if you're a boring
person or if you're called Neo apparently.
I mean, I don't like this, but I would recommend it because it's...
It could be a tagline for the broadcast.
To your worst enemy.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
It's, I'm kind of conflicted.
I can't recommend it for multiple technical reasons, but it's not really the, uh, the
artists fault considering they were confused.
Take a look at the show notes for links to today's video, uh, links to Instagram and
also links to the lightning bolt video.
Also, email us at gontofarcast@gmail.com.
We would love to hear your thoughts and any recommendations for videos.
If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts,
Spotify, or your podcast player of choice.
That actually does help us. Thank you.
Bye.
Good to be back.
Bye, everyone.
Let's go!
(upbeat music)
(door opening)
(electronic buzzing)