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hello and welcome to we can't rewind we've gone too far a podcast where a scotsman an irish man
and a bulgarian discuss the worst silliest weirdesses fuck music videos i am neil hi i'm
Hi, I'm Dave.
Merry whatever holiday you celebrate, you lovely human beans.
Beans? Human beans?
Yes. Yes.
You lovely human beans.
Now I'm self-conscious about saying beans, as in beans, as in Heinz.
That's the episode is brought to you by Heinz Beans.
You do know that other brands make beans as well.
Other brands are available.
We have come from the land of tacky Christmas theme songs to introduce you to this year's colonish stocking.
All I Need Is Love by CeeLo Green.
featuring The Muppets.
This song exists.
Somehow.
Celo, what are you doing here?
I was just about to ask you the same thing.
Well, I'm here for Christmas with all the guys.
What's going on?
I was on my way to a Christmas party in Atlanta
and I got lost.
Oh, gee, hotlanto?
Yeah.
In a convertible rose?
Oh, you're never going to make it in this weather.
Well, why don't you come in and join our party?
You sure?
Absolutely.
We'd love to have you.
CeeLo Green's car breaks down on his way to a Christmas party.
This happens in front of a house full of Muppets partying, so naturally he joins in.
As any same person would.
Now, I fucking love the Muppets, especially in the context of Christmas, because a Muppets
Christmas Carol is a masterpiece and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me.
This video unfortunately doesn't quite live up to that gleaming gem of a cinematic experience.
There's also a Muppet version of CeeLo Green, which is weird because CeeLo himself is already
a pure Muppet.
Released in November 2012 and currently holds 6.7 out of 10 on IMDB.
This is not a joke.
This video is directed by Mark Klasfeld, a person who in all fairness has done a lot of music videos in his life.
Like, a lot.
And some proper bangers too.
Foo Fighters, Sub 41, Britney Spears, Neely.
Also a fair amount of videos that we are bound to someday watch for this podcast.
So are we all excited for Christmas?
the zoom lag made that sound like we were very not excited
that was us actually being quiet depending on what lord on omnicrom does
i'm excited to have time off work for a bit how about you yeah enjoy christmas we do the same
thing every year we just go around to my family's and drink lots basically but uh yeah so it's always
good though. This is my
first Christmas song this year.
I usually wait until the first, you know,
traditionally. I think I love Christmas
Day. I can't stand the run
up to Christmas because it's just so
long. It's like, start feeling
the Christmas cheer on Christmas Eve
and then it's better. It's my thing.
We say while recording a podcast, Christmas podcast
in November. We're part of the problem, guys.
It's December.
No, it's Christmas Eve. Oh, I can see
old Saint Nick from here. He's
crashed into the high-rise.
Neo looked
very very sad for a second there
when he realised this is the first
Christmas song he's listened to this year
this is how his season is going to be like
buddy sorry
not even a wham
could have been fairytale in New York
instead we listened to this
so we did this for you listeners
what are your initial thoughts
about this
video? I think I'm significantly
less harsh on it than you
by the judging by these notes.
So why don't you unleash your hate for a moment?
It's just a really fucking dumb video.
There's not much hate to it.
I just, it's a shite video.
It's just offensively bad.
Like, it's not, it's not funny.
There's nothing to it.
It's just a bad video.
But someone paid money for it.
I think we do, we do have a note at the start,
which I think we're just going to say and move on.
So we don't bring it all down.
But apparently he's a piece of shit.
So you'll agree.
He is.
yeah yeah it sounds like he's uh not a very nice person back to happy muppet film yeah
yeah let's start with the most obvious one why is he dressed like a literal trash bag that he is
yeah it's quite the look he comes in and sort of looks like what material would you call that
pvc like the one that they make like the king clothes portrayed he's like in a big big red suit
kind of made of that because it's red it has a christmasy flair to it i guess if you say if you
say so yeah i think it's a sort of uh sort of outfit only he could pull off and i don't know
what i mean by that but it just sort of you know it just sort of suits him very well does it well i
mean no i mean it's it's horrid right i mean if you look at it just he's either really sweaty or
really cold but he did drive with his roof down in the middle of winter in a snowstorm that is true
plus oh actually i'm just i forgot there's actually there's a red overcoat that he wears
throughout the video.
Jesus, that looks uncomfortable.
Looks like a Christmas turkey
wrapped in plastic.
You don't want to get that
too near to the fire
or it'll start melting.
It'll be like napalm.
That doesn't make the video
so much better though.
Pulls up in a Rolls Royce
without a roof.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Convertible Rolls Royce.
And that is mentioned
by the Muppets.
Initially I was like,
oh, that's kind of funny
because he's driving in a snowstorm
in a convertible.
I don't know.
I find it kind of strange
that they're specifically
naming the brand of the car it kind of feels like product placement in a kid's video i don't think
it is but it feels weird to me is it is it product placement or is it uh status confirmation like oh
a driver's convertible rolls royce maybe maybe he insisted that he turned up in a rolls royce
i don't know it's it's a fucking tacky video yeah from that point on it's basically just the
Muppets doing Muppety things.
They're throwing fish at each other,
pulling chickens out of boxes,
and they're just fucking around
in sort of Muppety fashion.
I had that kind of effect
where when there's music hand visuals,
the music can lie to you about the visuals.
Because I think because it's like
a happy, cheery song,
I was kind of like,
oh yeah, this is pretty good.
And then it was only once I kind of
stopped and thought about it,
I'm like, nothing,
nothing has happened.
Wait, has Cedar Green been in any films?
I hope not.
Probably not.
Let's have a quick look.
He might have been in something like, this is the end or something, where acting does not matter.
No, he's been on TV shows.
Did he play himself, though?
I think it was the voice he was on.
That's why he's been driving in the chair, sort of a play on that.
Ah, okay.
Play on that thing.
It's funny, though, I don't feel like Ceele Green has any charisma.
He just blends in with the Muppets.
I don't mean that in the bad way, but he just, I don't know, he's just a bit dull.
Oh, it's a bit sad that the best actor in this is literal puppets,
like felt puppets that have people's hands up their asses.
Well, well, well, the Muppets are good actors.
This is something I wanted to mention.
Apparently, well, I have seen this in real life, not in the Muppets,
but with a different puppeteer, whenever you're like filming the Muppets,
they all stay in character in between takes.
So you'll be like sitting there giving an actual Muppet directions
and they'll be talking about it and going and that's not nice i presume it's something to do
with like voice like just for them to not break voices because i presume it's quite difficult to
keep on especially fucking kermit voice imagine that that would hurt your hurt your voice after a
while because i did one video for a a retail chain in the uk which will remain unnamed that it was
basically like an internal video starring a muppet style puppet and the puppeteer was this american
guy and he was fucking fantastic and he would literally keep the puppet in character the entire
time so i kept on finding myself just like looking this puppet in the eye and talking to it i was like
you're not real
I'm drinking Irish coffee
to get into the Christmas spirit
and it's working
thank you coffee and alcohol
no judges here dear
absolutely not
it's five o'clock somewhere
I've never had an Irish coffee.
No joke.
You should have one.
They're good.
Surely you did just by extension of having coffee in Ireland.
Well, technically yes, I guess.
Great combination whiskey and caffeine.
It's a, it's a, it's what you need when you're doing a Christmas podcast.
I need to ask what whiskey you're using.
Uh, Jura.
Oh, yeah.
Classic.
It's considered bad manners to use good whiskey for like mixing stuff, but I didn't have any
other whiskey.
So.
Fuck 'em.
Like just the standard 10 year old single malt.
I can't remember.
I don't think it's in
particularly fancy
it's fair
should we try to talk
about this video
it's a really bad video
there's nothing to talk
about it but
should we try
yeah try for a bit
then we'll talk about
other Muppets stuff
which is actually good
I think to be honest
the best part of this
video was the
were the Muppets
and I'm
I'm quite a
I'm quite new
when it comes to
actually appreciating
Muppets
I
the old me would have
been like I
I have no interest
in these
these suck things
whatever you want to
call them
but they
the video a little bit grounded
and make it a bit of fun.
I felt like they could have probably played a bit more
on the Muppets Christmas
Muppets Christmas Carol.
Yeah.
They could have played with that a bit, I think.
But it just feels, I don't know, it just feels a bit dull.
Yeah, I think it's legitimately
in my opinion, one of the best
Christmas films ever made.
It's not even just because it's Muppets, it's just a good film.
The first time I watched
Muppets Christmas Carol was Last Christmas.
Oh, nice. How did you find it?
It was good.
Basically, Scott was very irrationally angry
that they've never seen that.
No, it was 100% rational.
100% rational.
Or Treasure Island.
So we watched him back to back on Christmas Day.
You know, I remember not liking Muppets Treasure Island as much,
but that was probably just because it was...
Tim Curry, how dare you?
Well, apart from Tim Curry, who's, you know, amazing and everything.
I feel like Treasure Island has a bit more adult jokes.
Like something like wink, wink, nudge, nudge towards the parents in the audience.
of tim curry's in it then probably pretty much i think the the the new muppets i've not seen the
second one but the the muppets movie the one that came out like five or six years ago is i remember
i watched that on my birthday one year and i just remember laughing my ass off to a ridiculous degree
the entire time and that's that's got some good songs in it the more i think about it the more i'm
like i'm annoyed at this it really depends whether this song is how much of it is um the muppets or
like the jim hansen corporation foundation how much is their involvement and how much is
ceilogreen's involvement maybe it's like a sort of made by committee sort of situation this this
one because i know that the muppets movie the new ones it was written by brett mckenzie from
flight the concords and that's what that's why is the music so good in that so maybe this was just a
a bit of a made by committee sort of i've now imagined a committee of muppets arguing about
one of the questions I was going to ask
both of you is which is the best
song to feature the Muppets
in terms of Christmas songs I think
it feels like Christmas which is
I think it's at the start of the Muppets Christmas Carol
and Thankful Heart which is towards the end
where Michael Caine has
realised the error of his ways at Scrooge
and you get the delight of
Michael Caine's terrible singing
life is like a journey
who knows when it ends
Yes, and if you need to know
The measure of a man
You simply count his friends
Stop and look around
Which I highly recommend.
They're both really good Christmas songs
and I just mentioned it as well.
There's A Muppet of a Man
which is in one of the new movies
proper power ballad.
Jason Segel, he just
gives it 110% in terms of power-balled cheese.
- I don't know.
- I'm a man, I'm a man.
- I'm a man, I'm a very man.
- Yeah, I'm going to suggest we just keep fishing.
- The next number, Kermit.
- Terrific, Fanny, that's great.
Oh, hey, Brian, River, Scott.
Are you guys ready?
- We're up next.
- Well, actually we have a big problem.
- Wait a second, where's Pat?
- We can't find him.
- What?
- Well, don't worry guys.
We know what to do in situations like this.
- What's that?
- Pat!
- Get me, get me, get me, get me.
- Relax, relax.
Everything is taken care of again.
- It is?
- I was gonna say, did either of you
knew this song existed before we looked into it?
- Nope, nope.
- That's not a good sign, is it?
- Nope, I had no idea this had happened.
I'm trying to think, well it was 2012, I'm trying to rewind my mind back to 2012.
What Muppets films were out?
I think, so the Muppets film was in the newer one, came out in 2011.
Because I was thinking maybe this was like a Muppets dark period where there weren't any good films out.
And they just thought, so the Muppets film was out in 2011 and they went with this.
So you hear the real Muppets are?
Yeah, because Waller, who I think they made for the Muppets film,
because he's kind of like a generic main character Muppet, he's in this video.
So yeah, so it was after the Muppets film.
So maybe this was just cashing in on the fact the Muppets film was successful.
Was Craig Robinson in the Muppets movie?
No, I don't see him.
I did enjoy Craig Robinson's cameo as Santa.
That was probably one of the few parts that I did enjoy.
Because he can actually act.
There's not much acting needed from him because I genuinely think that his reaction to this
accidentally racist sentence.
Yeah.
Okay, so for people who have not seen the video, which is every single one of you, don't lie.
There is a moment when Santa shows up in front of the Muppet Walter.
Walter, was that his name, Walter?
And Santa turns out to be Craig Robinson, a really funny Black American actor, him being Black Matters.
He has a monologue of saying how Christmas is real because something, something, if Christmas is in your heart, Christmas is in your home or something like this.
To which this actual Muppet Walter turns around and says,
Oh, sweet, Santa is my homie.
Which, Walter is a very white-looking Muppet,
and that was very awkward to listen to.
Craig kind of takes a breath and, like, looks straight down the camera
in a sort of disappointed fashion,
which I did find quite funny,
which is a bit weird for a Muppet's thing.
But it was funny as fuck.
You think one person would clean up their chimney?
I knew it, I knew it.
You're real.
Of course I'm real, Walter.
You got Santa in your heart.
You got Santa in your home.
So, so Santa's my homie.
Yeah.
I'm your homie.
my final point is i don't really have a final point but all i need to say is
isante your homie i hope so nelly i hope so oh god i won't take a shower after this so this this
was a new song for me and i'm not a huge fan of cilo green or the muppets but i'm solely starting
warming to like the Muppets
but this is the first Christmas song I heard this year
and now it's likely to be stuck
in my head and that's a bad thing
I picked this video and
I've had this slow realisation
throughout this podcast that I've made a terrible mistake
because nothing happened
I was lured in
just by the fact that I love the Muppets
and the Muppets can do no wrong, this must be fine
but I think this is one case where the Muppets
have phoned it in
try harder next time Muppets
this was when the Muppets
they were down on their luck
they'd all
developed drug problems
and Sheila Green came around and they thought
let's make a video and they didn't know what they were doing
it's not their fault guys, it's not their fault
poignments
this Irish coffee's really kicking in
favourite part is
3 minutes 15 seconds in
I need to underline this video
is fucking 7 minutes long
so halfway point, 3 minutes 15 seconds in
Santa's Craig Robinson looks straight at the camera after Walter the Muppet tells him,
so Santa's my homie.
And this is the only redeemable moment of the whole video.
And I laughed a lot.
And the worst part is everything before and after the Santa being your homie remark.
I mean, come on, it's a really fucking tough video.
Favourite part?
I guess the funny Muppet banter got me in the Christmas mood, I guess.
But I did appreciate the credits at the end.
And I think that's, we've said this before, it's quite an understated thing.
And I think most, if not all, music videos should at least have some form of accreditation to say who was involved in the making.
I find it quite interesting, personally.
So there wasn't actually a lot with this one, to my surprise.
It felt like there wasn't a lot of money thrown at it.
This is me.
Worst part, for me, the worst part was the song itself.
I think it's best enjoyed muted.
So my favourite part, the rapping prawn Muppet.
Pepe the prawn.
I enjoyed that just purely because he's dressed like a Russian gangster rapper.
And he sounds like the guy from Little Big.
And I just find that funny.
And the worst part, yeah, just general disappointment in the Muppets.
Just basically CeeLo Green destroyed my childhood.
Add this to the little controversies on Wikipedia.
I'm going to add that to Wikipedia.
In 2021, CeeLo Green destroyed David Mikichi's childhood.
So is that an iron out no?
No.
Yeah, it's a hard no from me.
But go and watch the three minutes, 15 seconds in,
just to look at Craig Robinson's disappointed face
of what he's done in his life.
He does generally have a bit of a look of a kind of like,
what am I doing here?
He's like, oh, fuck, I've made a mistake.
To me, it's like, oh, I'm glad I got paid up front for this.
Yeah, the look on his face is kind of like the visual representation
of how I felt as I realised I made a mistake picking this video.
Just like, ah.
I think the Muppets hit a new low.
Yeah, and his first name is C.
Oh!
Take a look at the show notes for links to today's video.
Yeah.
But why would you want to say?
If you really want to, links to Instagram, etc.
Also email, go into farcast.gmail.com.
we'd love to hear your thoughts and any good recommendations
for Christmas videos. Save us from ourselves
next year. If you're enjoying the podcast
leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify
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or donate some money on our Ko-Fi page
Bye! Bye!
Goodbye!
Happy Christmas!
If you haven't already, stay good.
Jesus, what an episode.
Oh, God.
Yeah, my bad.
We literally had to push it out of our asses.
Yeah, I'm good.