You know when you get the Google suggestions?
Did you go on DeviantArt again?
Yes.
Hello and welcome to We Can't Rewind, We've Gone Too Far,
a podcast where Scotsman, an Irishman, and a Bulgarian
discuss the worst, silliest, and weirdest as fuck music videos.
Hi, I'm Nelly.
Hi, I'm Dave.
Hi, I'm Neil.
Why was there a massive pause before you introduced yourself?
Because I had to check which order we were.
I forgot how to read briefly.
Oh, okay.
That happens to the best of us, it's fine.
This month, we are discussing the absolutely fantastic and fabulous 1994 synth-pop ballad hit
Always By Erasure, also known as the Robot Unicorn Attack Song.
Directed by Dutch French filmmaker Jan Coonan, the video features lead singer Andy Bell and
an unnamed woman in a Chinese scroll painting inspired background, where they play music,
sing and fight a giant monster dragon.
This video is definitely something that couldn't be pulled off successfully by many bands, but
Razor are definitely in the top 3, which I think should end them a little respect.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and a tiny bit of cultural appreciation slash appropriation can do.
There we're kind of like, I guess,
relatively level ground here,
because I don't have any particular background
slash history with the video, which is a good start.
So what were your initial thoughts when you watched it?
It's quite mad.
Yeah, it just reminded me of what's to come.
It's quite a fitting song,
because it's summer whenever the snow goes away,
and then it's winter whenever the snow is back.
We're recording this at the end of the summer, end of August.
Yeah, I don't look forward to a cold house, let's put it that way.
But yeah, I mean, it is.
It's quite a charming video.
Unlike most stuff that we tend to review on here, it's actually good fun.
And you don't really, I don't know, it doesn't offend me, put it that way.
I don't remember hearing this anywhere.
Usually, you know, when you hear a song, it sticks in your head,
Even if you don't like it.
But this one just, no.
The video has a good opening five seconds
because it looks like you're looking at some sort of ancient postcard sort of thing.
A little bolt of energy.
And then your man, Andy Bell, just teleports into this snow globe looking place.
Attention grabbing is a very good way just to describe the whole video.
It's a very, it's a relatively long video, but it's not really boring.
There's always something happening.
So he comes in, then he starts, they unfreeze this frozen lassie.
And then adventure ensues.
Adventure ensues.
Not immediately, though.
At the beginning is very...
They kick about for a bit.
Yeah, for the top of the song, braiding hairs and shit.
Yeah, that was one of your notes.
Casual gal pal night in.
Very much felt like that.
I've definitely had nights in where we didn't quite braid our hairs.
But, you know, just kind of chilling, fighting dragons.
Because initially you think it's going to be the usual sort of romance stuff,
but as you're watching it, I was getting kind of a...
He's some sort of teleporting man-servant,
goes around helping Nobility with their hair and gardens and stuff.
He does have that look about him.
He doesn't look like he's a king or a prince
or, you know, anyone in a great noble role.
He looks a bit ordinary.
So I want to say that when the master appears,
he first does a very, like,
I'm very scared and kind of, like,
curls up into her as opposed to, like,
being very immediately, like,
I'm going to protect you or something.
Which is a fun point, I guess.
But yeah, I guess what you both mean.
I guess I never really looked at it that way.
I genuinely thought that it was supposed to be romantic,
but kind of almost like queen-queen, nudge-nudge way of romantic,
because I'm fairly certain Andy Bell was out by then.
Also, it's a very, very comfy video,
so I don't know if anyone watched this and thought,
oh, yes, he's incredibly straight.
I don't know if it's just because, obviously, we already know,
but you don't get the impression he's trying to get his hole better that way.
He just wants to comb in the hair.
Yeah.
It's good hair.
Having a nice night in
and then this fucking dragon monster appears.
Is it actually a dragon?
Or is it...
I'm guessing it's some ancient Chinese thing.
Maybe we should look this up.
We should probably look this up.
Okay, pause.
By the way, Wikipedia said it's a dark dragon-like creature.
It's interesting, if you ever read things about where all the monsters and Pokemon and all that stuff come from,
they always seem to be based on some ancient Japanese in that case.
What's the word I'm looking for? Mythic?
Folklore.
Aye, folklore.
So it seems like, obviously this probably wasn't made by actual Chinese people,
but it's probably kind of drawn from folklore somewhere.
Do we know that the director is a Dutch French guy?
Yeah, we mentioned this earlier.
Yes, we did.
Obviously, there's a lot of appreciation towards the culture, but also, you know, I guess it
worked in the early 90s.
But nowadays you get like, you know, the woman who is styled to look Asian and her makeup is
kind of like making her look Asian.
And I'm not 100% sure whether the actual actress slash model slash whoever she is.
By the way, just a note, absolutely no record who this woman is.
Nobody.
There's just no mention of her name.
And I was looking for so hard and so long.
Just a random person, they picked up on the street or something.
I'm sure that she was probably a model.
I was trying to figure out if she was actually Asian, but I'm not.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
Whenever they give a close-up of her face, it looks like her makeup is very obvious.
As in what they were doing with her makeup.
I don't think she was Asian.
I don't want to presume because Jamie
don't know but it kind of
just felt like oh I can get away with
it's 94 nobody thinks about
it. You know what's
funny on IMDB
they have you know directed by
they have casts
you know the music department
and it's just Andy Bell and Vince
Clark and there's no mention of
this woman. The guy
Vince the other guy
by Erasure he's in a picture
at the end and he gets a credit
one doesn't it doesn't make any sense the only thing i found was a very long article by some guy
who was explaining in excruciating detail about the video like because in what we're doing now
but the difference is he absolutely hated it and kept saying how it's bad and it doesn't stand the
taste of time and it's bad cgi and i'm like where do you even see the cgi there's no cgi in there it's
all physical effects but yeah this guy absolutely hated the video and saying how bad it is and i'm
like mate what kind of videos do you watch he's obviously not went as far down the rabbit hole as
we have it's well made i think obviously it looks all the time but i think it's well made for what
it is and evson evson works you know it's clearly professional people made the sets made the costumes
made the big monster thingy the snowball to me my technical eye sees that this was shot on like a
theater stage um because the lighting's really theatrical lots of flashing and you know it changes
from daytime to darkness
whenever the dragon comes on.
I think that adds to the charm.
Judging just by the opening couple of shots,
it's like they're in a postcard, basically.
You know, so it's like,
I think it feels right for it
to be a little bit theatrical.
I mean, there's several scenes
where like the background, the set,
what's that word?
Pavilion, I guess.
It literally shakes when they touch it.
I just wonder whether that was on purpose or not.
I wonder whether they just decided,
well, we don't have the money,
So we may as well completely embrace the schlock and go for it.
But it kind of reminds me if you've ever seen,
like, don't really know what the word for this is,
but like theatrical shows where it's not really talking so much.
It's more kind of a visual performance
where it's just people kind of doing shit at each other.
It reminds me of that, if that makes any sense.
I want to say panto, but you don't mean panto, do you?
No, not panto.
No, like wanky physical theatre sort of stuff,
which I have seen in the past and it feels like this.
Like kind of a theater of shadows kind of thing.
Is that what you mean?
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah.
I mean, I think we're probably overthinking this.
I don't think even Dave put that much thought into it.
Yeah.
Well, fair enough.
Beyond making it look aesthetic.
Although we do have to commend the fact that the video has nothing to do with the song itself.
Well, does it?
It does a bit.
Because kicking about with this lassie in this sort of little bit of purgatory that they seem
to be living in.
And they'll always be together in this little garden.
That's what I was getting from it.
Why purgatory?
I don't know.
Just not purgatory.
More like just I keep coming back to being like a postcard or a snow globe.
It's like they've been trapped there by some magical being.
And this is just their life now.
But they're kind of happy to be together.
When you actually explain like that to me, it is kind of like a nightmare.
You're in that one place.
And maybe they're in limbo and they're repeating themselves in an endless time.
And keep getting frozen and thawed.
Kind of like the way the seasons come and go.
earth spins and seasons come and go when the earth spins...
Hold on to the noise, there will be no shame
Always I wanna be with you and make believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony, oh love
Always I wanna be with you and make believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony all over
Seasons go and go and the earth spins
And then the seasons...
Oh, sorry.
Got stuck on a lip there.
Indeed.
You can play a little respect over this
and apart from listening, it totally works.
Did you try this?
Yes.
Yeah, I did.
Yeah, because before the show,
the show, the podcast,
Before the show, guys,
I was watching this and it all played on to respect
and I was like I wonder if this would work over the other video and I put it on and apart from
the lip syncing being weird it actually kind of does work because like the monster comes down when
it's when it's like show their respect and the monster's like so yeah I recommend the listeners
try this erasure video mashup the erasure version of watching um dark side of the moon while sorry
playing dark side of the moon while watching the wizard of Oz yeah it's not quite that good but
It does work.
It's better.
Come on, it's better.
What was the monster trying to achieve?
That was a question I had.
Or was he just being a generally mischievous spirit?
Maybe he just wanted to be part of the party.
They just were like, no, fuck you, you know.
You know, Awa Pao, go away, you monster.
You keep coming in and snowballing everyone a little bit.
Turning people into ice.
Wow.
We're leaving this inside.
That was a party I don't want to be part of.
Maybe the gym wants to be part of it.
We've talked about this. No thanks, ancient monster.
No, no, no, no. That's just your kink, mate. We don't... No, no. Stop snowballing.
You've told the new save, babe. This is what you were thinking about while you were watching us videos.
Was that a Freudian slip?
When you say one thing, but you actually meant getting snowballed by a giant monster.
Unfortunately, that video probably exists on the internet, but let's not worry about that.
But yeah, so apart from snowballing, what is the monster trying to achieve?
I was wondering whether the characters, they're actually the bad guys
because they completely judge the monster based on its appearance.
It's actually a good monster and just want to be part of the party
and want to be one of the pals.
And they're like, no, fuck you.
Yeah, they're like the cool kids kicking about the garden.
You can't sit on our table.
Poor monster just wants to play a board game or something.
These guys are being dead.
He's supposed to make a fright, just moved into town.
Just literally flown into town and they're like, no going.
They are the monsters all along.
The crazy backflips.
Yeah.
Because they're hilarious.
They're very obviously done by Andy Bell, clearly, 100%.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was notorious for his backflips.
He would backflip on stage all the time.
He's still doing it.
Can we just agree that they're completely pointless?
What is he doing?
He's doing fucking 10 backflips to get to a bush that's like two and a half meters away from him.
You can just walk, get some flowers.
It would have been objectively less effort to walk, but it wouldn't have looked as cool, though.
Yeah, I mean, you do get those cool like, what the word, kimono, I guess?
Just kind of like flowing around, floating.
It's pretty cool.
If you're potentially stuck in some sort of snow globe postcard for eternity as well, then
you may as well.
Get snowballed.
You may as well do a backflip before you get snowballed and then it'll kill a bit of time.
We need to put a proper rating on this episode.
Warning, may contain explicit.
May?
Does.
I don't think we've said cunt yet though, so there you go.
There you go.
That's covered now.
explicit tag confirmed
Neil do you have anything
to add
inappropriate to this episode
now?
No I'm going to be
the odd one out here
and just let you
get the
the bad feedback
emails that we tend
to get every week
Neil's just sitting back
and watching us
embarrass ourselves
the Scots and the Bulgarians
are the worst
that's my opinion
as the Irish man
the editing
is like
probably the one thing
that really worries me
I was very
frustrated
I guess
by the constant
for the changos
and then the
very harsh cuts
with those
Plane's clear is...
I don't know how you kind of like the light flashes.
Every cut, it was flash, flash, flash, flash.
I could imagine that would get a bit exhausting.
Considering that everything else is quite like,
it's sluggy but consistent,
I just didn't quite understand what was this supposed to do
and why was it there.
I felt the illusion of the dream was very well captured.
When it goes from, you know,
summer to winter, light to dark,
it felt very...
It felt like you were in their heads
and I didn't think that the flashing really took me out of that.
If anything, it's sort of, I don't know,
helped with the franticness of their situation
where they're getting fucked by a big snowman.
Well, I'll try against snowman, whatever you want to call him.
I don't know.
But yeah, I guess the flashing could be distracting,
but I think, you know, compared to stuff we've seen before,
this holds up.
Quality-wise, it's a bit, you know, yeah, it's a bit aged,
but I think the actual execution was done pretty darn well.
I think it was pretty good.
I just wanted to look in there.
I think they kind of, I don't know what you call it,
make up special effects on when they're frozen,
both when she's frozen at the start
and when they're frozen in the snowball.
I think it's pretty well done as well.
Yeah, it's definitely like,
it kind of goes back to something
that they've been harping about
for pretty much every single video
we've happened this year.
I understand that CGI technology existed already
and in some videos was really well done.
But overall, if you didn't have the money
and skills to pull it off,
just done and it wasn't good enough to not just look like it didn't be immediately dated yeah and
i'm kind of very happy that they did not go down like yeah with a few exceptions with it just like
here and there they did not go down the route of we're doing this fully cgi because we can or whatever
they just went for like no we're doing the shorty effects you know it doesn't look convincing it
doesn't look real but it looks cool physical effects and stuff like you can tell it's not
it's not real obviously but but it is same time as real if you don't mean it's gonna you can tell
what i'm trying to say here doesn't do the uncanny valley thing you see it you can see it's not it's
an effect but you also forgive it pretty quickly i do anyway don't know about everyone but whereas
when you see some ropey cgi you instantly just go oh that was made in a computer and it takes out of
the experience i think yeah i mean you get you see the snowballing monster and you don't think
that's a snowballing monster, you think that's a man in a costume. Because it's consistent
with the shaky set and the very fake backflips. You know, it's consistent in the shitiness
and you have to respect that.
It's a video that grabs your attention straight away and although it's a bit ropey and theatrical,
I think it works perfectly for what it's trying to do.
The effects are good.
Sets are good.
Costumes are good.
Big, scary, snowballing monster is good.
You know, so yeah, I liked it a lot.
And the song's a bit of a tune as well.
I had never seen this video before.
And after the first watch, it had me laughing out loud.
The premise is utterly ridiculous.
And it made me feel like the idea was picked out of a hat
then adapted while on Magic Mushrooms.
To be honest, I still don't know what's going on,
but that's no bad thing.
The video has charm.
And most importantly, it is fun.
I absolutely adore the low budget B-movie vibe of the video.
It is really far from perfect.
And the acting is kind of high school theater drama club level.
And the set is literally shaking whenever someone touches it.
But it's so charming and so comfy and so fun.
Just you can't fault it.
And it's a solid B plus for effort for me.
Favorite part is just the set slash location, whatever you call it in general.
It feels like you're inside a snow globe, inside a postcards, but with better music.
Serves the video very well.
But there is a runner-up, which is at 1 minute 40, where he has just a little float around in the background.
He kind of just campily floats there for a bit.
Campily floats.
Yeah, and nobody really knows why, but if I could float, I would just float about literally as much as I could.
Would you campily float, though?
If the mood took me, yeah.
Worst part, I've not really got any complaints about the video, to be honest.
But, you know, don't you just hate it when an ancient magical creature
traps you in a snowball?
We've all been there, you know.
That now seems a bit weirder after the whole snowballing thing.
It's fine, I'm going to leave it in.
One minute 31 is a creepy back lip into a front lip raise
followed by a resting bitch face.
Yeah, it's a little bit strange.
Definitely recommend checking that out.
That made me laugh a lot.
Was that when you'd deliver in the flowers?
Yes, yes.
Yeah, right.
It's proper...
Yeah, I think it would have been shot in reverse because...
So it just looks a little bit strange.
And then the worst part, the worst bits, more of a technical critique.
I'm not a fan of the Dutch angles in this.
Felt a bit like I was on a boat.
Dutch, Dutch, Dutch.
They hadn't figured out the balance cameras yet at that point.
The tripods did not exist before 2010.
Tripods only had two legs.
Really, really bad system.
Dual pods, yes.
Anyway, so, yeah.
So my fave part is actually my fave and worst parts are basically the same as Neos more or less.
So my favorite part was just the crazy backflips.
They never failed to put a smile on my face.
Putting so much effort into just walking into the nearby bush and picking some flowers.
You know, just walk to the bush.
And the worst part is, again, the technical aspect, but not about the Django series,
but also the constant cuts and flashes that we discussed.
I understand what Neil was saying earlier when we were discussing it,
but it still kind of bothers me a bit and it just feels a bit...
And you need to tune it down a bit, basically.
But that's it.
Otherwise, well done, mate.
It's an eye for me.
Big old eye.
Fuck yes.
Yeah, why not?
It's an eye for me.
Does nothing wrong.
Eye for me as well.
Nothing wrong, which is a true CEO of approval with our podcast.
They can put that in their YouTube comment section.
Always I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony, harmony
Take a look at the show notes for links to today's video, links to Instagram and our social medias.
Also please email us on gontifarcast at gmail.com.
We would love to hear your thoughts and any recommendations for videos.
If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player of choice.
Peace, yo.
And listen to us in October.
This is a September episode or something.
Yeah.
Bye.
See you next time.
Bye.