I mostly felt depressed, so maybe Christmas is yes, I guess?
Hello and welcome to We Can't Rewind, We've Gone Too Far, a podcast where a Scotsman, an
Irishman and a Bulgarian review the most terrible, silliest and weirdest as fuck music videos.
Hello, I'm Neily.
I am Neil.
I am Dave.
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Sorry, I had to.
Happy holidays, yo.
This is the season to be jolly.
And what can be jolly is the Noliva Newton-John
and John Travolta singing their hearts out
trying to warm ours.
This is 2012's I Think You Might Like It.
And no, we had not heard of that song either
and we'll be surprised if you actually like it.
Here comes my hometown
So good to get my wheels down
I'm coming home tonight
Here comes that magical spell of Christmas Eve
There's nothing you can do
But wear your heart, punch your slew
So to give you a little history on this,
I think you might like it is the only original song
from the 2012 Christmas-themed album of Newton, John and Travolta.
Yes, this thing exists.
It's called This Christmas, and it's full of everyone's favourite seasonal tunes.
Yet among the most overplayed songs of all time, we find this little gem of a turd.
It's sort of a country, but sort of like a pop song.
The song was targeted as a sequel to You're the One That I Want,
probably as imagined by a person who has never heard of the song or watched the film Grease.
This song was written by John Farrer, the writer of You're the One That I Want.
No, we'll all do this.
According to Newton-John herself, she came up with the idea of recording music together
with Travolta. After she remembered that one
song 30 years ago that people sort of liked
Olivia John Newton has quoted
I thought to myself, wouldn't people want to
hear us do other songs? No
Olivia. Literally no one wanted to hear
you sing it too
It's so true
If you like so bad it's good, for the love
of Santa go watch this now, it's
fucking spectacular. The video can be summarised
in two words, line dancing
The long description includes John Travolta
spray painted on hair, random
Christmas presents to remind us that this is in fact
a holiday song and the fact that it mostly takes
place in an airport waiting area
and tons of line dancing because of course
that's what you want in your Christmas video. We have absolutely
no information about this video
and why would we have anything considering it looks
like it was literally a DSLR left on a
tripod pointing at stuff happening.
Is there a director? Probably not.
Who's the D-O-P?
Who cares? Is there an art department?
Or is there a guy with a bunch of fucking presents?
It was literally shot in a half a day
with zero skills or imagination.
Who is the D-Poop?
D-Poop?
Did I say D-Poop?
No, you butchered D-O-P,
but it sounds like D-Poop.
I can actually tell you
who the D-O-P is.
Really?
Yeah, I can.
Do please share.
Yeah, I've been doing some CSI-style digging.
Investigative journalism.
Yeah, you could say that, D-E-V-E.
That is not a fact.
I'm not a certified investigative journalist.
You just play one on TV.
So if you check Discord, I've just posted a GIF now.
Keep in mind, it's a very low-res GIF.
If you look in the mirror of Olivia's blue card, you can see ZOP.
Now, I can't make his face out because I don't have CSI enhancing tools, but he is there.
And it does look like he's on a golf buggy, which immediately has production value to this production valueless video.
zooming and enhancing. It looks like
from a zoomed right in
I just headbutted the microphone
I can see a guy's arms and then I can see another guy
standing over him I think. So we can confirm
that there was at least two people working
on this video which is surprising. I thought
I presumed it was the only one. Well considering that
John Travolta is missing from this image
I wonder whether he's the one standing
over the GOP. Just kind of
menacingly standing next to him. Film it you
son of a bitch. You'll never work in this
town again.
I can't remember what John Travolta actually sounds like.
It's close enough.
He sounds like this.
What was in Greece?
Damn it.
There's a reason why none of us are actors.
He's Italian.
No, he's not Italian, but he's sort of like that.
Italian, American heritage, and he's a Scientologist.
But yeah, so there's definitely a DOP in that shot somewhere.
Can confirm this wasn't shot by a robot.
Yes, which is something.
A sentient golf buggy.
Did anyone feel Christmassy watching this?
I mostly felt depressed.
So maybe Christmas he is, I guess.
The only really signs of Christmas is that the red jumpers are wearing
when they're watching It's a Wonderful Life.
This sort of slightly awkwardly piled up boxes of Christmas presents.
Clearly empty boxes, you mean?
Yes, yes.
Clearly empty boxes.
The novelty sized boxes, yeah.
I do, as much as it's horrific in every single way,
horrifically brilliant,
I do get where they're coming from with the whole airport thing
because it's like people coming home for Christmas
and they're like, oh my God, I haven't seen you in this entire year
if they've been away fighting a war
or whatever the rest of these characters are doing.
Would it have been that expensive
to pay for stock footage of an airport,
like an actual airport,
to put like an establishing shot
so people know what they're exactly looking at?
Yeah, you see the runway
and it was weird actually
because the bit where Joan Travolta
and Olivia Newton-John run towards each other,
initially I thought that was like
outside her house or something like that
but then I realised the jet was sitting in the background
so that must just be another part of the airport
But yeah, we have no establishing shots.
She can have a jet in her backyard.
You don't know this.
This is one thing I know about John Travolta.
He does have a runway attached to his house.
He does?
Because he's such a keen pilot.
Is he actually a certified pilot?
Yeah, yeah, he's a fully certified pilot.
Yeah, he can fly.
I think he can fly commercial airliners.
Sorry, are we talking like Airbus size or 12-seater size?
I think Airbus size.
Fuck, really?
Yeah, I think he can drive like...
Drive.
the shot of him
landing at the start might actually be him
pilot in it it is it is shot at his house
I can I can confirm that
the reason why I can
confirm that got another photo coming
here we go
oh my god yes
so it was shot yeah
he loves planes that much
look at his house right okay I'm gonna put this
as the chapter art so
look at your podcast player of choice right now and you
will see an aerial
aerial shot of John DeVault's house.
It's an actual airport.
That means that John has that little foyer.
That's his.
That's his little foyer.
This actually changes everything
because I presume this was like
some small town airport
they were shooting in.
But they've actually just shot it in his house
because his house is an airport.
Yeah.
Yeah, because you can see the bit
where he's running.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, he's literally...
He's parked his plane.
He's running off his plane.
Wow.
This is life-changing.
That took a direction I did not expect.
That's mean.
No, it's not amazing.
It's absolutely horrifying.
Who would want George Watt as their air pilot?
Just saying.
But he's taking the student film approach
of just filming it in your house, but...
Only his house is a mansion
with an air pilot attached to it.
This explains a lot of the video, to be honest,
because it's like, he was like,
oh, I can't really be bothered finding a location,
all that stuff.
Can you shoot my house?
What have I got in my house?
Have I got a runway?
Planes and shit.
Just shoot that.
They still went down the route of Campyarist.
It's just that they happen to not live in a bedroom flat in Glasgow or something.
Lazy filmmaker, rich privilege.
Something with horrible line dancing skills.
I actually don't know.
Is that good line dancing?
None of the dancers look particularly good, but I don't understand.
I believe we do have some Americans in the audience.
So email, gone to Farcast at gmail.com.
Is this good line dancing?
We don't know.
*Music*
Let's take a second on "Dogbaas is here"
I love it so much
That's back in 2012, still the period of his life where he still painted on his hair.
And it does look painted and also looks a bit like as if it was a sticker directly on his head.
And it looks exactly as uncanny as you think.
I imagine a man that age would have some sort of grey, like a grey hair, but it's like matte black.
It's like a void.
Yeah, it's like a black hole.
I mean, I can imagine that someone who came from being a young stud or something
and then having his hair just kind of, you know, like receding and everything.
And imagine it's probably quite shocking.
I imagine Greasy had some good moves.
I've never actually seen it, but I gather it's about dancing.
I don't know, I've seen it.
Once it's fine, it's boring.
Everyone is like high schoolers played by 35-year-olds.
That classic American tradition.
Yes.
They have a plot line of a girl, girl, quote-unquote.
think she was like in her late 20s or something having pregnancy scared at the beginning of the
year and at the end of the year she realizes she's not pregnant and it's like this is the duration of
a whole pregnancy what the hell um and then they fly away in a flying car which you think is the
reference circling back to this fucking piece of shit ah okay i've seen the flying car that makes
sense so this is this is basically a sequel to greaser oh that's what they envisioned at least
yeah it's a really bad low budget sequel to greaser greaser greaser greaser greaser greaser
for you and yours why is it called greece yeah it's something to do with like 50s high school
culture i guess yeah it's connected to the motorcycle people engine nerds whatever who
are called the greasers i think i think i think i only know that through west side story if i
remember that right which also movie haven't seen slash musical haven't i've not seen it in years
but i remember enjoying it i mean it did win some oscar some show it's better than fucking greece
Grease, not to be confused with Grease 2, which is even worse.
Anyway.
I didn't know there was a sequel.
So this is Grease 3 then.
The reunion.
I did find out while I was doing some vague Wikipedia-ing that was it JTP Films,
thinking who the fuck is that not making the connection that it's obviously John Travolta Productions.
And then some sort of database came up with publications with references to Scientology.
This might be some sort of Scientologist propaganda.
Were you guys not aware that he's a Scientologist as fuck?
I try not to pay attention to these things.
I knew it was one.
I just, I didn't know to what degree.
Well, Battlestar Galactica.
No, Battlestar Galactica.
Battleship Earth.
I'm sorry.
Battleship Earth.
Oh, my God, that's a thing.
I'd watch that.
Battleship, hold on, what?
Battleship Earth is written,
was not written by Aaron Howard.
How about?
Battle, battlefield, battlefield.
Oh, battlefield.
Battlefield.
Battleship Earth.
Oh, yes.
I remember that.
close enough
just a mental image that conjures
I haven't seen this
it's got a really good Rotten Tomatoes score
what is it?
it's got 3
I have seen Battlefield Earth
however I was high as fuck at the time
and I literally remember none of it
so is it good?
I don't know
it is not good and also I'm so disappointed in you too
seriously you didn't know that he was a Scientologist?
no I did
I just presume all American celebrities are Scientologists at this point.
But yeah, so Battlefield Earth also referred to as Battlefield Earth, a saga of the year 3000.
It's a 2000 American science fiction action film based in the 1982 novel of the same name by L. Ron Hubbard,
who is also famously the Scientologist person guy, dude.
And that film was produced by JTP Productions.
Yeah, because who else would give John Travolta acting anymore?
Also apologies for my cut quiz meowing behind me.
It's won multiple Razzie Awards and stinker bad movie awards.
Nice.
It's not bad.
I might have to add it to the bad film night roster.
Do you want to do this to yourself again?
The whole video has that kind of corporate film,
like getting your mates to help you out sort of vibe to it.
So I'm presuming all the people in it are friends and family and stuff like that.
I'm pretty sure none of them are actually actors,
judging by the look on their faces when they're trying to avoid looking at the camera.
Our fellow Church of Scientology members.
It does say then, special thanks to the people of Ocala.
When I thought this was all shot in a town and not John Travolta's back garden,
I thought, oh, it must just be all the people in the town they've got together.
But if that's true, then they must have shipped people in to get it, to do it.
Probably his staff, like cleaners and maintenance guys.
And his personal security guards, I guess, which are the police, not police, army people.
And the security dude.
It's the people who clean his planes, multiple planes.
And their kids.
They all look like they don't want to be...
Well, they don't, man.
They look like they're having fun,
but they also look like,
oh, I don't know how to be in front of a camera.
Yeah, no, they all look like they're having fun.
It's just that having fun is not what an actor make.
No, considering that neither Olivia Newton-John
or John Travolta are particularly good actors to begin with.
I was about to say the same thing.
It's like the only thing that saves all the supporting actors
is the fact that the two, quote-unquote,
A-listers are pretty shit in it anyway as well.
There's some booby quads in there.
I found a really interesting Forbes article.
It's titled Private Aviation Community Home to John Travolta is Up for Sale in Florida.
So Ocala is the closest town to where John Travolta lives.
So he roped in the, obviously, the locals and whatnot.
All the people who are coming home for Christmas and they're all apparently landing in John Travolta's back garden.
Because he's such a pillar of the local community.
What's all their backstory?
You've got a soldier who's like meeting his family.
You've got the soldier who sees the security guards and goes,
I guess, and goes, hey, buddy, how are you doing?
Hugs him.
I have the feeling that probably the second soldier
is actually probably a secret lover with a security guard,
but you need to keep it low because Scientology probably doesn't approve LGBT.
So he's just like, oh, hey, pal.
Friend.
He blanked him for a good four seconds.
That made me laugh.
It's a very small room.
He's kind of looking around going,
well, in fact, I'll tell you what I initially thought.
He's looking around for his family or whatever.
like uh yeah and then eventually he looks at the security guards and goes fuck it you'll do
anyway there's also the family that uh mother with the child meeting two young or three young
girls and they all hug and they're happy about each other and i'm very confused what their
relationship is i thought oh maybe that's their mother and that's their new child newborn brother
but age difference feels a bit off.
Could be cousins, I guess.
I think the best part about this particular shot
when the family all run up and hug each other
is the security guard in the background
is once again doing the old
oh, nearly looked at the camera.
No, just going to look over there.
Acting natural.
the main thing about it is just how did it happen i'm like what is the point in this is it just
john travolta being on an eagle trip and going i'm gonna do a christmas sequel to greece and music
video form wikipedia actually has an answer to this oh allegedly olivia newton john was writing
or sending a christmas card to john travolta where she for some reason mentioned you're the one that
they want and then it's when she thought oh maybe it would be great if we actually uh record more
music 30 years later although nobody asked for this and the one thing that stood out was apparently
they decided they're going to
donate their proceedings to their
selected charities, which
sounds fantastic, only to test selected
charities at their own foundations.
So basically Olivia Newton-John gave
money to herself, and John Travolta
gave money to himself. Wait a minute, this is a
money laundering scheme, isn't it?
I didn't want to say it because Scientology
is going to get after us, but
kind of, probably, yes.
Any views expressed in this
podcast are something
like possibly wrong i don't know well even if it's not money laundering it's just faking it being like
oh yeah no we're very very generous because you're just paying themselves okay if we presume for for
legal reasons because um our legal department is neil and yes i have a friend of uh a friend who's a
lawmaker therefore so am i he can say this but he can't take our hair we're legally our our legal
department obliged us to confirm that we don't actually think that john travolta nor olivian
and john are actually money laundering it's it's just for shitting egos we promise just really looks
like it probably money don't tell anyone yeah let's not talk about it if we say it quietly it's not
legally binding could just be they wanted an excuse to have their little eagle drip music video
yeah which is bad enough i just always found it incredibly tasteless when celebrities do something
or celebrities or people with foundations or charities.
They'll do something and then they will donate money to their own foundation.
Like, it's not them only doing it.
It's the same with, I don't know, everyone.
Like, yeah, they're giving money.
That's great, but they're giving money to themselves.
But if a newspaper overlooks where the money's going,
then, oh dear, that's a shame.
Yeah, people look fine.
There's a million other foundations that you can...
You can still very happily money laundering
if they send money to their friends' foundations instead, you know.
Classy money laundering.
Yeah, classic money laundering.
You send me money, I send you money.
We never run out of money.
I mean, it's a perfect example of a well-made, highly financed video.
Goes to show when you have the talent, you can make anything work.
Neil, are you okay?
If you're not okay, please blink twice.
You've got someone who's worked in the film industry for years and years,
and I presume he's not short on money, or at least wasn't at this point,
but it still looks absolutely terrible.
It literally looks like a really bad corporate film.
I'm just quite bemused about how someone with that level of kind of experience and probably money,
maybe not just hire someone who knew how to make a good video.
It's strange.
It's very strange.
I can, Dave, I can tell you now why.
Why?
They literally didn't pay anyone involved to make this.
Ah, yes, that'll just add.
Obvious.
Come on, you know it as well as I do.
Yeah.
Nellie, you know it too.
All the people from the town of Ocala, wherever it was, yeah, they didn't get paid.
Here guys, do you want to come to John's house?
Be in a music video?
Yeah, have the act.
What's for lunch, you say?
Oh, don't be silly.
It's bring your own.
In conclusion, John Travolta is a shady gum tree chef slash a Craigslist producer.
No one expects much from Christmas videos.
Yeah.
But at least you expect some level of cheesiness, which this video just works.
There's just nothing there.
It's nothing.
It's just devoid of emotions.
Nelly, this video has cheese.
It's just gone very, very bad.
Does it have cheese though?
Oh no no I mean the cheese has gone black.
It's not good cheese.
I think there's an attempt of humour but it just falls flat and I look at anything like
this and sort of ask myself if I was someone who made this or if I was even the guy who
edited this would I at the end of the day go that's a job well done.
I feel happy with what I've done with that.
John's gonna love this.
Before we go to the final points I just want to point out one thing.
So this is what's on John Travolta's official website to say about this video.
So if you just want to click that link.
Why didn't we think of going to JohnTravolta.com?
I'm very certain I saw this but ignored it because I'm scared of Scientology knowing my...
And if you look at this rich link full of content...
Well, for listeners at home, it's white page in blue letters in capital letters.
I think you might like it.
Posted on March 22nd, 2016.
and then there was a square with a picture of the two of them standing there and some
social media links and that's it is there even a link to the video nope
Dave don't be silly what do you what do you think this web page magic is the fuck John
can we also point out that whoever decided to post this did it four years after the video
we should update the website now
uh the two of you i would like you to actually click on the link leading to our website
their own website we're now looking at the website of the people who built the website i think
just look at the quality that someone like of their own website it's not good i've just got a
pop-up going hi there would you like to schedule your free website and marketing consultation
yes i'm gonna reply hi guys how was john pravolta to work with are you actually sending us yes oh my
god oh oh bacon bacon oh fuck we've we've lost we've lost this is what happens when we joke with
john travolta gets us is he just going to office one by one scott we need to be on the lookout because
john travolta is going to catch us bacon neil bacon the uh destroyed my bandwidth
and made my interest.
Just have a...
This is what Scientology wants you to think.
It's probably late in America right now.
I don't know if I'm going to get a reply here.
Either that or they're ignoring me.
Going like, oh, God, not another one.
How do you know?
Nobody actually goes to his website.
Should we go to Final Nostal?
Yeah, do it.
I'll leave this open and I'll see if I get any replies.
Okay.
I'm thinking probably not.
*laughs*
The existence of this video is pure miracle, but not one of those nice miracles that makes
you all happy and warm in the stomach.
Think Old Testament miracle, where God makes you suffer for shits and giggles and calls
it a "miracle" in quotes.
It's so baffling that it lays me speechless, which doesn't happen very often.
All I can say is: "Be happy that the video is only 3 minutes long.
A blink of your eyes and it's gone.
And then you can play better holiday music or, if you're anything like me, play Russian
circles and have a sip of good whiskey to make the pain of your bleeding ears go away.
Good choice in the Russian circles.
I know, fantastic.
This is what I was listening to while I was writing this, because my ears were bleeding.
And downing whiskey.
It wasn't a sip of good whiskey, it was all the whiskey.
The sheer awkwardness of this video is off the fucking charts.
It has the unmistakable je ne sais quoi only found in safety videos for oil companies.
Everyone in it, including the two stars, look like they had to do it for fear of being demoted
or, as we've just discovered, kicked out of the Church of Scientology.
You can feel everyone trying to avoid looking at the camera.
You can smell the unmistakable scent of student filmmakers.
I don't understand how this happens, but it's a thing that exists.
Does it feel like Christmas? I guess.
Does it make me feel festive? Sure. Would I recommend it?
Heck yes. It's pure banter. It's fun. It made me laugh a lot,
but I won't be playing this at my Christmas party.
Favourite parts? I got a chuckle at the unimpressed cop by a woman at 40 in.
It's just him watching the family in front hug.
It looks like it's awkward for him.
It's almost like he's thinking, what are you guys doing?
I don't know, I find that pretty funny.
Oh, and yes, if you go to 1.47, if you guys can go over to that now.
Tell me, what the hell does John say?
1.47.
No stopping at the ways.
At the ways?
No stopping at the ways.
Tackling the ivory.
No, I hear no stopping at Louise.
Like a place or person called Louise.
No stopping at Louise.
Yeah.
Who fucks Louise?
Oh, wait, no, it sounds different now.
I must do it again, wasn't it?
Yeah, listen to it on repeat.
It gets changed every time.
The more you listen to it, the more it's going to be explicable.
It's easy for you to say.
I can't say that word.
Sorry.
Anyway, don't listen to it more than once.
I think it's no stopping at the Waze.
I don't know where the Waze is.
It's Louise.
It's where Louise lives, obviously.
Don't stop at Louise.
Do your worst, Neil, while you're at it.
My worst part, I don't think it's relevant.
Yeah, I was surprised to find out that JTP Films was actually John Travolta's own production company.
I thought it was going by the quality of my first watch.
Student community college, you know, it was them putting it together.
and I'm surprised that they managed to make something feel like it was made by a first-year media student's attempt at making a music video.
Kind of shocked me, to be honest, but I think it goes to show.
Even if you have money, you maybe don't have talent.
Maybe.
Oh, and bonus for the listeners, I think my favourite John Travolta film is Face Off.
Oh, Face Off.
Although that's, it's basically because it's him and Nick Cage, and that's an unstoppable duo.
Plus, plus it's made by
John Woo
Oh really, is it actually?
The premise is absurd
It's got Nick Cage in it
It's a masterpiece
End of discussion
Yeah, yeah
What Dave said
Have you seen it?
I saw it years ago
I haven't seen it in ages
But I have been doing
A virtual Nick Cage movie night
On and off
So it'll be watched again
Should I just do my best and worst?
Go for it
Okay
The best moment of the video
is the end credits
and the worst moment
is my completely
fucked up
YouTube algorithm
after watching the video
that's it
I hate that video
the best moment is
58 seconds in
as John
bursts forth
from his private jet
and sings
I'm coming home
I literally laughed out loud
I can't
I can't quite find the words
to describe why it's hilarious
but I'm just gonna watch it again
it's the little
the little jog down the street
the steps
yeah
I think the gif that I posted,
I think his lips are saying,
I'm coming.
Forever, forever, forever.
Oh no.
And my worst moment is right at the end,
as they're in the car,
about to drive away.
I like it.
He goes, I like it.
I like it.
Well, it's so badly that sound.
I just find it offensive.
That last scene,
I was told by my partner
that that's a nod to Greece.
Oh, so yeah,
because that'll be where the car flies off.
Yes, but obviously they didn't have the budget for the effects.
As an actual actor, I would like to hear Connie's opinion about this movie.
Movie? Video? About this video.
Because I showed it to her and she just laughed.
That's a fair reaction, to be honest.
I said, does this mean it's Christmas night? Can we put our tree up?
Yeah, she wasn't impressed.
Should we do the conclusion?
Yeah, I sort of know.
The soul bad it's good sort of energy did not last.
this whole podcast.
So it's a no from me.
This is a very fun video,
but honestly,
I never really want to watch it again.
I don't even think I would tell people about this.
I don't think it really deserves to be seen.
It's a bit late now,
we're doing a podcast about it.
Yeah, well,
I kind of feel that,
you know,
it's quite good banter
and you can watch it once
and a couple of times
and get a chuckle out of it,
but it's just very forgettable.
So it's a very strong no from me
with a bit of caveat.
If you ever want to watch it
just for shits and giggles,
please mute it
Because the song is even worse.
Like, honestly, it's a really bad fucking song.
Don't listen to it.
I like it.
What we doing next week?
How about Beck?
Which Beck song is it?
Oh, Loser.
Oh, yeah.
Should we do that?
Yeah, I'm out for that.
say goodbye everyone. Bye. Bye. See you next time. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year and a happy
apocalypse. Hope the rest of the apocalypse speaks everywhere. Happy 2021.
one.